I arrived a few minutes late at our favourite haunt, the coffee shop, and saw her twisting impatiently in her seat, a sure sign that something was on her mind. I approached her with a look of forced joviality. She just sat there looking at me with piercing eyes.
“What’s bothering you?” I asked.
“Nothing!” she said.
An awkward silence followed. She made no move to initiate a conversation. It was the only time I had seen her short of words. This state of affairs lasted for another ten minutes before I ventured to ask what was troubling her. This time she did not even reply. I tried to take her hands into mine but she brushed them aside. I could make nothing of it. It was about twenty minutes before she spoke in an icy tone that chilled me to the bones.
“Do you consider me as your friend?” Perplexed, I said, “Yeah, sure, my best friend, what a silly thing to ask.” “Then may I know why you did not deem it fit to tell me about your semester result. It’s been two days and you haven’t even mentioned it. When were you planning on telling me about it?”
It was like a bolt of lightning. I had had an abominable result, barely managing to make the grade.
“Well, you see, I was going to tell you in a day or two!”
“Don’t bother, I looked it up myself.” “Oh! Forget it then, it’s one of those things, I will make up for it this semester.”
She was angry now and her voice was bitter –“What’s the reason for it? No, wait, let me finish, it’s me, isn’t it, you haven’t been concentrating properly and I’m directly responsible right?”
“Hold on, it’s got nothing to do with you.” She stopped me in mid-sentence and asked, “Do you love me?”
It was totally unexpected. I barely managed to say “Yes” in a hoarse whisper. “So do I, but I cannot live with the fact that I may somehow be responsible for spoiling your life and future. No, I cannot bear that thought”, she said and before I could respond, she had walked out of the shop.
I was shell-shocked. I just sat there trying to collect my thoughts. We had finally managed to express our love for each other, and yet the circumstances under which we had done so could hardly have been more fitting. It should have been the happiest moment of my life, instead I felt utterly miserable and defeated. To me it seemed almost ridiculous that something as mundane as a semester result had induced such a severe reaction from her. Honestly, I had no idea that she kept track of my academic performance, and worse still, seemed to take it so personally. I had never supposed that academic prowess was going to be a factor in our relationship. I mean I had never heard of girls worrying about the results of the person they were going around with or even friends with. It just went to show how much she cared for me. Her concern for me was obvious and the pain that I caused her was immeasurable. I then made a promise to myself that in future I would never hurt her like this again. How wrong I was, how could I have known?
I put my head down and started studying hard, really hard. It took me a month of fervent pleas before she agreed to meet me. However, when we did come face to face, she had changed visibly. Gone was the incessant chatter and frequent bout of giggles, no hint of even a smile. It almost broke my heart. Her replies to my eager questions were monosyllabic or restricted to a sentence at most. It was her way of punishing me I guess. We played tennis once a week. Whereas previously the game used to be full of verve and unmitigated delight – principally because of her – they now turned into a dull drag. She showed absolutely no emotions on the court, just going through the motions mechanically, like a robot. It was torturous, she would be right beside me and yet so far away. I would have been much better off had she simply refused to see me. It made me even more determined to resurrect my academic credibility. A semester passed by. I will never forget it, I worked with a maniacal zeal, driven by an intense searing pain. I was not very happy but extremely purposeful. I had a fantastic result, never had any doubt about that really.
And on the day it was declared, I was greeted with a sight that was worth the six odd months of hellish torment. I had just glanced at the notice board, satisfied but not over the moon, when there was a flurry of activity behind me. I turned around and saw a figure pushing her way through the crowd of people. It was her of course. She came bounding towards me, laughing uncontrollably, and enveloped me in her arms much to the surprise of everybody watching and to my acute embarrassment. I freely admit though that I would have given anything to have been embarrassed like that daily. It was a moment frozen in eternity, everything seemed to have fallen in place. I was definitely over the moon now. If it were up to me I’d have wound up my life into a perpetual loop revolving around that moment. I realize now how well she understood me, how she could effortlessly play me like a guitar. She knew exactly how she could make me channelize my potential. It was amazing.
We had a memorable time at college after that, we could do no wrong, revelling in each other’s company. It was a remarkable period of our lives, we were drunk on each other, and our happiness knew no bounds. We introduced each other to our respective families on her graduation day. I was a trifle nervous, I mean I was in my final year, had not yet completed college, and here I was preparing to meet the parents of the girl I was dying to marry. She, on the contrary, was looking forward to acquainting herself with my parents. I need not have worried, it was a cinch. I couldn’t believe my good fortune. It was just too good to be true, but there it was, our families had no objections whatsoever, they approved whole-heartedly of us as a pair. It was a fairytale.
I had no inkling that I was hurtling inexorably towards a nightmare.
