Alexander Malkovich

Author: bondgal_rulz / Labels: ,


"Begone rascals", screamed the old man. He was always there, seated at one end of the park bench, his hands on top of his walking stick, his eyes downcast. There was a little boy there too, seated at the other end. I was a regular at that park and everyday before dusk I would go for a refreshing jog around the park and everyday I would see the old man and the little boy and everyday they would be seated on the same bench. They seemed to be in a world of their own.

While children his age spent their time playing games, running around or just rolling on the grass, the little boy would just sit there, his hands coupled between his legs, a cap on his tiny head, shielding his eyes. A collapsible wheelchair rested against his side of the bench. The old man would often mutter something to himself, shove his hands into his pocket, take out some bird seeds and scatter them among the pigeons.

On this particular day, I went jogging again and as I passed the park bench, I saw the old man brandishing his cane at some children who seemed to be teasing him. "Begone rascals", he screamed again.

I could not bear the sight of the old man being harassed. I ran towards the park bench and drove the children away. The old man was quivering and gulping down mouthfuls of air. Placing a comforting hand on his shoulders, I steadied him. "Take it easy" I said, "you will be fine". He looked up at me full of gratitude. "Thank you sir." A wheeze burst forth from his cracked lips. The wrinkles on his old face seemed to deepen as he gave me a warm smile. He must have been in his seventies. "When I was young, I never did things like these....the world's gone to the dogs!"

He suddenly offered me his hand. "How stupid of me. Let me introduce myself. I'm Alexander Malkovich." I introduced myself and within a few minutes I was sitting beside him and we were chatting like we had known each other for ages. "I had a daughter, Jane", he said, trying hard to remember. "She was a good child. Extremely beautiful. But she fell in love with this army fellow. He said he was going to marry her. I warned her against it, but she wouldn't listen. She was too much in love with him. So I consented and my worst fears came true."

Malkovich looked like he was going to break down any minute. Gathering himself, he continued. "He left her with a child and ran away a week before marriage." "Jane refused to get an abortion done. Now no one would even look at her, let alone marry her. She died during labor, giving birth to Peter. Maybe it was better for her, she didn't have to suffer anymore. Strange are the ways of our Lord."

I wanted to console him, but he continued. "Peter was the apple of my eye. But he too was cursed. He began to develop fits...I took him to many a doctor, but no one could cure him completely."

"Peter loved to come here....he would sit for hours on this park bench feeding the pigeons. I knew he didn't have long to live, so I stopped his schooling and brought him here everyday. I wanted him to enjoy what little time he had, to the fullest".

It was getting dark and the air was much cooler now. Malkovich suddenly went over to the boy and adjusted the woollen shawl around the boy's neck. "You'll catch a cold if you're not careful", he said to the boy and came back. The little boy must have been asleep for he never moved an inch.

"Where was I...yes, Peter was doomed to die". Twilight was giving way to night. People were leaving the park and it was almost empty of people. Hardly anyone stayed this late because of the muggings. the night wind was building up. The place had an eerie resemblance to a horror movie I has watched the previous night.

"And one day, Peter and I went swimming; he developed convulsions and drowned. I tried to save him, I tried so hard, but I couldn't, I couldn't. I just couldn't".

Malkovich was sobbing now. I gave him my handkerchief. "don't be so hard on yourself", I said. "It wasn't your fault".

Malkovich looked at me, his blue eyes seemed to stare straight into my soul. "I loved Peter very much. I could not bear to be separated from him. I could not." The sky now had an indigo tint. The park lamps had a heavenly halo around their heads. I sat there perplexed and dumbfounded. Malkovich's eyes were red and he was trying hard not to cry again. He got up. "Well, it was nice to have made your acquaintance, but I must be on my way". He took a card from his pocket. "Here's my card. If you need my services, I would be glad to help. Goodnight sir".

I tried to speak, but my voice had betrayed me. The cool night wind blew the cap off the boy's head. His eyes appeared glassy in the ghostly lights of the lamps. Malkovich picked up the cap and placed it on the boy's head. He then unfolded the wheel chair and lifted the boy onto it.

"Come on Peter. It's time to go home". As they slowly disappeared down the path, I looked at the card. It read:

ALEXANDER MALKOVICH

TAXIDERMIST

"WE STUFF ANYTHING"

The wind blew the card from my paralysed fingers. I never went to that park again

Comfortably Dumb

Author: bondgal_rulz / Labels: , , , ,

I read this on Sowmi's blog and immediately knew that I had to take it up.

The number of X's is directly proportional to the level of my dumbness. Read on. :)

[X] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking. (Looks away)
[X] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking. (Looks away, whistling and trying to look for a place to hide herself!)
[X] You have ran into a glass/screen door. (Haven't YOU???)
[X] You have jumped out of a moving vehicle. (Ever travelled in Delhi's blue-line buses?)
[X] You have thought of something funny while walking by yourself. (This has got me into trouble sooo many times, that it's not even funny anymore!!)

[X] Laughed, then watched people give you weird looks. (Yes yes, and it does not end there. Usually I give them an even weirder look and then continue with my Ravan-kind laughter. :D)

Alright, first set of questions completed, and all have been crossed. Maybe this tag wasn't such a good idea after all...

[X] You have run into a tree/bush. (This is really belittling my dumbness. I have ran into a solid wall for God's sake. And that too with a car!!)
[ ] You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow.
[X] You have tried to lick your elbow… a few times. (Once, when I first read this tag. :D)
[X] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little star have the same rhythm.
[ ]You just tried to sing them. [Ha! I did not! (I already did when i read it for the first time. ;) And God!! They actually DO rhyme!!)]

[X] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[ ] You have choked on your own spit. (Ewww!! No!!!)
[ ] You have seen the Matrix and still don’t get it. (Proudly smiles at not crossing this one.) :)
[ ] You’ve never seen the Matrix. (Smug face)
[X] You type only with two fingers. (Smug face disappears) :(

[ ]You have accidentally caught something on fire. (Accidentally, no. Deliberately, yes. Wait, does that make me even dumber??) *worried*
[ ] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes. (Lol!! No!! BUT, I'll tell you what happened at Pizza Hut the other day. I was drinking outta a straw and the lemonade just didn't come into my mouth!! I sucked at the liquid at least half a dozen times before realising that it was broken in between!!) (This is a "dumb" tag, I can tell stories which are not very funny OR relevant wherever and whenever I want too. :)
[X] You have caught yourself drooling. (Better than letting myself drool all over right? A better question would have been - You've NOT caught yourself drooling. Or has someone else caught you drooling.)
[ ] You have fallen asleep in class and fell outta your chair. (Fallen asleep - yes. Fell outta my chair- yes again. But BOTH simultaneously - Hell no!!)

[ ] Sometimes you just stop thinking. (Sometimes, I just START thinking.) ;)
[X] You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about.
[X] People often shake their heads and walk away from you. (Does people include Moms too?? Come on man!! They are moms!!! They are SUPPOSED to be like that!!)
[X] You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
[ ] You use your fingers to do simple math.

[ ] You have eaten a bug. (Vegetarian)
[X] You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important. (duh!)
[X] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it.
[X] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand. (This is a proven sign of geniusness btw.)
[ ] You have ran around naked in your house.

[ ] You re post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t.
[X] You break a lot of things.
[ ] Your friends know not to use big words around you.
[ ] You tilt your head when you’re confused. (Not that I do, but just how in the world is that supposed to make you dumb???)
[ ] You have fallen out of your chair before. (Before what? Please clarify.)

[ ] When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling or wall.
[ ] The word “ummmmm” is used many times a day.

19 "X" marks out of a total of 37!!!! What????? I'm only 51.35% dumb!!!!! Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's NOT SO bad!! Is it??? Alright, may be it is, but at least knowing it makes me a lil less dumb, nahi? :) :D

I'm not tagging anyone specifically as hardly anyone obliges. Hmmpphhh. All those who want to test their level of dumbness/intelligence, consider yourself tagged. :)

COGNOSCENTI