"The past three years have been a blur. For all I know the time spent at college was but a rapturous moment filled with euphoria that was too good to last..." With these closing words of the farewell speech by a final year student, the hall exploded into applause. There were smiles and there were tears, of joy I hope!
For I would definitely have shed tears at these oft-repeated words by every outgoing batch. Forget the emotional moment and you can actually laugh out loud at these cliches that have percolated through years of public disapproval of the moment of separation from the college.
Consider this: "Words cannot express the hollow feeling that is plaguing my heart right now." Can't they? Then how do you intend to deliver the rest of your speech? Through a mime, maybe!
"It seems that it was only yesterday that I was seated amongst the audience, listening to the inspiring Orientation Speech by the Director."
There! The genius has just demonstrated the hitherto unproved theories of Time-Contraction and Time-wrapping. Take that Einstein!
"Thank you, dear teachers, for having guided us throughout the our management education. It was under your able guidance that we hatchlings developed our wings and are now ready to take flight into a world of endless possibilities." Bravo! Nothing wrong with that except for the fact that you can actually notice the unbelieving smirk on the speaker's face for having pulled off saying something that incredulous.
Imagine a flock of chirping birds escaping from a cage, year after year, celebrating freedom after two years. Add to that the immense possibility of their spraying droppings on those left behind. The above platitudes don't seem quite so believable, do they?
Come to think of it, it is not only at farewell speeches that we come across such repetitions. Placement interviews, for one, are another cliche heaven.
Preparation for interviews heavily involves mugging up smart and impressive (and now decaying!) answers that have been doled out innumerable job - seekers for years. Needless to say, these answers have become the contents of a placement formula. Notice the subtle humour attached with renditions of these cliches in the interview room-
Question: So, tell me something about yourself.
Smart Answer: (after a formal introduction stating name and place of living) I am an ambitious, hard-working person. Quick grasping power accentuates my cognitive skills. I am a good team worker and believe in developing innovative solutions. Besides, I can assimilate myself comfortably into any work environment and can work amicably with fellow workers.
Spare a thought for the poor interviewer who has now interviewed the thousandth person exhibiting the same set of 'cognitive skills', 'team spirit' and 'hard-working' capabilities. This truly is an "Attack of the Clones".
Question: Why do want to join this particular company?
The same stinking answer (The plastic smile still intact): The company has an unparalleled market reputation. It provides ample growth opportunities to individuals. I, as a persevering professional, found the work ethics of the company quite alluring.
Money, to me, is but a reward for doing good work and nothing more. A decent salary obviously gives you a high.
Washing your hands off the "filthy lucre", eh? Wait till you see this intellectually motivated professional brag about the anticipated fat pay-packet in front of his drunken cronies. Well, at least he was honest about money giving you a 'high'!
Question: Who is your idol in life?
The answer to this much anticipated question: My mother/father.
Aha! Now the candidate can almost clearly hear his management coaching teacher hollering away, "Choose your father or mother. They can't screw you dimwits with questions pertaining to those two people at least!"
But can you blame these individuals for resorting to such a blatant show of this lack of creativity? Hell! Our day to day life involves cliches of the worst degree.
How many times have we heard friends sympathising with you, "Chuck it man! No point crying over spilt milk."
For God's sake, leave the poor milk alone. Wonder who that jobless man was who dedicated all his cunning to create this proverb about this mundane event of spilling milk!
Ever reached the class late? Panting and puffing (literally) when you reach the class at last, you are sure to be greeted with these famous words, "You are too early for the next class!" Apart from the murderous feeling that arises in your heart at that instant, you rue this lame attempt by the teacher to show off his smartness (at something at least!) If the gurus themselves cannot come up with a new catch line for something as simple as throwing an unpunctual brat out of the class, how can the students be expected to break with such cliched conversational routines?
All said and done, we can finally conclude that cliches are an inseparable but indistinguishable part of our lives. They claim their position in any dialogue with panache. To say that we need a language revolution would be too far-fetched an idea. But guys, is using a little bit of creativity that difficult?
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