Rashi promised herself that this time she will not let herself give an excuse to walk out of a relationship that would amid the many insecurities she feared show her a world of little joys and eternal happiness and true love perhaps. The excuses so far had been amusing, if not lame altogether. Someone was way too tall, someone very taciturn, someone very organised and someone way too fair even! Not this time though, she thought to herself.
It had been only a month since she had met Nikhil and yet it seemed like they had known each other for ages. Both of them having imposing personalities, were egotists of the highest order and were extremely stubborn, which on some occasions brought a lot of fun and on others led to tension between the two. But one or the other would always give in and the two would be back to being the lovebirds that they had become.
Rashi, a very unusual girl, was not very expressive when it came to letting her close ones know what they meant to her. Perhaps this was the reason why she had never really been lucky in the matters of the heart. Of course, her rather unusual choice in guys being partly to blame too.
She did not believe in Love. Or perhaps she did and only pretended that she did not. No one knows. Not even her. But she did have weird notions about this so called "Love".
"Nikhil, don't ever say that you love me, unless you mean it for real.", she said after they had had a small fight and Nikhil had slipped in a "But you know that I love you sweetie." while comforting her. She was a little taken aback at this.
Sure, she liked him, more than anything and anyone else in the world and knew that he did too, but love?? LOVE - if it existed - scared her!
"I do mean it sweetheart.", he asserted with an intensity that Rashi had never seen before and that reflected not only in his words but his eyes too.
Nikhil sensed her uncomfortableness and said "And you DON'T have to say it back if you don't want to." And once again Rashi hated herself for not being able to bring herself to say those three words.
"Thanks. Thanks for understanding.", was all she could manage to say.
"But you don't mind if I say je t'aime, right? Instead of I Love You??", he asked with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Remind me to wear stilettos the next time I come to meet you.", she said.
"Uhhh...okkk...but why?", asked Nikhil, a little surprised.
"So that I can whack you on your head whenever I want to.", she answered, trying to reach the top of his head by standing on tiptoes.
"Achaaa?? I could always lift you, you know.", he said, coming in closer.
"Yeah right. Size dekha hai apna?", Rashi poked fun at the very idea and started giggling.
In answer to her question, Nikhil wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up in one smooth movement.
Rashi's giggling was replaced with a surprised smile. She put her arms around his neck and rubbed her nose against his thrice and lingered, her face so close to his that she could feel his breath on her. He gave her a gentle peck on her cheek and said "I'm sorry but it's not my fault that I can't help falling in love with you."
She just crinkled her nose in answer and again in one smooth movement he put her back on the ground.
And hand in hand, they entered the theatre for the movie, which by now was about to reach its interval.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He looked at the entry gate of the airport for the tenth time in the last three minutes. His mind said that she wouldn't come but his heart wished otherwise.
They had had a fight last night which ended in her hanging up on him. She hadn't been taking his calls since.
Disappointed, he sat down and thought how difficult the coming one month would be. He was going to London for the last leg of his graduation - his training.
He knew no one there and was not at all excited at the prospect of going so far away from Rashi when she had her summer vacations on. Adding to his misery was the fact that his birthday fell in this particular month. Never for the past 22 years of his life had he spent it alone, without friends and family.
He was almost on the verge of tears when he felt his cell phone vibrate in his jeans pocket. His heart took a leap when he saw who was calling.
"Hello?? Where are you?? Your flight hasn't left, has it?? I'm stuck in the parking outside. I'll be there in ten minutes max. Wait!! Ok!!??", she gushed in one breath.
And soon enough, a girl who looked like she had come right out of her bed, could be seen running and bumping into people, stumbling, regaining her lost balance and then running again towards the bench where Nikhil sat.
Panting she stood in front of him. Nikhil could make out from her puffed up red eyes that she had been up all night crying. He got up to face her.
Rashi put her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulders for a full minute before they both burst out saying "I'm sorry!" at the same time.
She looked up into his eyes and he read what they were saying. Tucking the two strands of her hair falling on her face, behind her ear, he said, almost choked, "I'll miss you too." He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her on the forehead. "I wish I could freeze time and hold you like this forever."
Unwillingly, he broke apart and picked his luggage up with one hand (as the final call was being made) while the other was holding hers. Squeezing it slightly, he said, "You do know that I love you, right? Oops! I meant je t'aime." " I know, I know. You and your concept of "Love". But I love you and I'll say it all I want to." And with a final look at her, he turned around and walked away into the sea of crowd moving towards the entrance for the waiting lounge.
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She called him with half an hour still to go for his birthday. She wanted to make sure that she was the first one to wish him a happy birthday.
"Hi sweety. How are you?", she asked, being her chirpy self.
"Hey..." Just from the tone of that "Hey" she sensed that something was not right.
"Hey!! You alright? You don't sound so good!", she asked, getting concerned.
"Hmmm..."
"Kya hua baby? What's bothering you?"
"Nothing."
"Shut it ok! I know some thing's wrong and I'm not letting you not tell me about it. So out with it."
"Remember Akansha, mu cousin?", he gave in finally. "Mausi has come to know about her relationship and all hell has broken lose."
"Uh-oh."
"Yeah."
"So what's the problem? The guy isn't good? Or is it the fact that it isn't arranged?", the problem-solver in her came to the fore-front.
"Neither."
"Then?"
"The problem is that he ain't one of us."
"Phirang hai kya?", asked Rashi.
"Very funny. He's not from our caste ya."
"Excuse-me!!?? But he is a nice guy, right?"
"I guess."
"So let me get this straight. Your mausi has objections just because he's not from your caste ?" asked Rashi incredulous.
"It gets better. He actually does belong to the same caste as us but not from the same segment."
"Unbelievable!!" Rashi was too surprised to say anything else.
"And I have just got done trying to convince her out of this relationship because mausi asked to."
And then it hit her.
Still she said, "It's ok Niks. Sometimes we have to do things we don't really want to or...."
"Oh shut it Rashi!"
There was silence on the line.
"I feel rotten you know. I feel like this big hypocrite who's convincing his cousin of not doing something when he himself is involved with a girl who forget the same segment or caste, does not even belong to the same religion. I mean I'm Parsi and you a Punjabi for crying out loud!"
Silence again.
"I don't know Rashi. I could not see my mausi cry and I know I won't be able to see either of my parents in such a condition."
"Hmmmm...is this what I think it is?", asked Rashi.
"You tell me. Will you be able to stand up to your parents for an inter-caste marriage?"
"Nikhil, I don't know if I'll be marrying you at all. It is too early for me to even think something like that. But then that is something which I'll never have to worry about, because if I love someone enough to marry him, I'll do all that is in my power and beyond to make sure that I do, parents notwithstanding."
For a third time that day, silence made a re-appearance.
"I'm not too sure Rashi. I'll be deluding myself if I say that I'll be able to do that for you."
"And I understand. I do Nikhil. Better sooner than later. So this is it I guess then.", Rashi said, more to herself than to him.
"This is it. Goodbye Rashi."
"Goodbye Nikhil."
With the click of the phone on her side, the clock struck twelve and a song started playing on Rashi's laptop. In her voice. His birthday present.
"I just called to say I love you. And I mean it from the bottom of my heart."
"Happy Birthday Nikhil.", she whispered as a solitary tear rolled down her cheek.
P.S. Listen to the songs "Goodbye My Lover" by James Blunt and "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette. I think they go along with the tone of the post. And of course they are prettu good to listen to too. :)
48 comments :
Do I really need to tell you again how much I loved this one....? :)
Great name for the story though... keep it up :P
Cheers...
hey .. wonderful narration..
wel done buddy
urs
suree
I knew that the girl would eventually confess her love, but it's going to be when he doesn't need it, is what I didn't think.
I wonder why is it that when we love from all our heart(or so we think), the certain someone can't hear it;and when he/she wants to , we've MOVED on.
I guess, Such ARE the dearies of life. :(
@ Arnab - I wouldn't mind...he he
Thank you soooo much. :)
Oh really??? Well I DO have the BEST of friends who keep helping me with stuff like this. :P
Once again, thank you for liking it! No, really.
Cheers
@ Suree - Thanks a ton there.
Welcome to C'est La Vie. Hope to see you around. :)
Cheers
@ Netika - I wonder why.
These lines came to my mind while reading your comment:
"Ishq hota nahi, sabhi ke liye. Ye bana hai, ye bana hai. Kissi kissi ke kiye."
apna size dekha hain....it made me have a few naughty thoughts...cnt help it !
a nice cute puupy love story :P
cheers
amit
Ughhhh....eeeewwwww!!! "GUYS!!" *rolls eyes* :P lol
Thanks for the visit and commenting. :)
Cheers
hey gal ...
gr8 post
well i say...this one is d bestest post of urs i hv read till now in ur blog
cheers:)
do help me in writing similar type story in my blog...will try to widen my thinking
so beautifully narrated yaar
hugssss
@ The Geekie - Thank you soo much.
I was very scared whether people will like this or not.
Glad to know that you liked it. :)
Arre anytime ya, though I'm sure you'll do a better job than me anyday. :P
Cheers
no yaar....u simply rock in ur blog
it becomes hard for me to give words to my imagination :(
wanna learn d way of writing frm u n oder blogger friends
hope u will help me out :P
cheers :)
gud nite
Arre check out some of the blogs I follow...you'll be amazed and forget all about me...he he
Will be glad to help anyway though. :)
Thanks a ton for the appreciation once again. :)
Cheers
Very nice ... :) Simply loved the narration. I can so related with Nikhil and Rashi, knowing people in the same situations. Love is so complicated at times, that it takes forever to figure out that in the end, it's just about the two people. Unfortunately, in these cases others are more important.
I saw your comment on Nekita's blog and would just like to add, as your characters here Letting go, in certain situations is the hardest thing to do, and requires a lot of courage and heart. For when you truly love someone, letting go of them for whatever reason is like tearing a piece of you and leaving it behind. Though these days people take and leave " love " like tissue which is just plain sad. But the Brooding, pain, hurt, anguish, all come after as well and it takes a Lot of energy of a person to come out of it ...
I too believe that in true love, one needs to try their best to be together, but you cannot hurt everyone around you for your happiness and other times, your happiness is what you need to look out for . Nothing is ever so cut and dry. Different people need to take different actions. One needs to walk Miles in another's shoes before calling them weak for taking the decisions they had to ...
Do check out my StoryTime blog. I hope you like it !!
Isha, i am touched! i hate this system of caste and pray it would never ever come as a barrier in my life. i cudnt just let go my luv cos of boundaries we made. i just cant even think of leaving her hand for any reason in this inhumane world. hopefully things wud be better. i wish these things remain in fiction.
having said tht, applause for this wonderful write up :) proud of ya girlie :)
Okay- so this is the post that makes me follow your blog from now on. :)
Awesome characters! very very well written!!!
But the guy is pretty dumb. As usually guys are!(ok lets stop the male bashing here)Didn't he know this before.. the inter-religion sort of stuff.. !!
Rashi- go girl go.. do some damage.. you just can't say -that's it!
@ Adisha - Nikhil and Rashi are as real as you and I are. :)
"In the end, it's just about the two people."
Perhaps you're right. But like you said, it's not fair to hurt everyone around you just for the sake of your own happiness. More so, when those others are the very source of the majority of your happiness.
And you said it, "one needs to try their best to be together." If after every possible effort, it does not work out, perhaps it wasn't meant to be. But to let go, just like that, is the easiest thing to do.
Thank you for dropping by and commenting.
You'll soon be seeing me on your blog for sure. :)
Cheers
@ Sawan - Oh! I'll be praying for you too. May you both stay happy forever and beyond. :)
Don't we all Sawan? But if only wishes were true!
Pehle respect, phir touched and then applause??? :O You are definitely going to be my new best friend!! Lol. :D ;)
Thanks ya. It means a lot. It really does. :)
Cheers
@ Sameera - Awww....thank you soo much for the follow. :)
Really?? Thank you!! :)
He he....i know whotcha talking about..he he...
And finally!! Someone says the point that I wanted to be asked too!!
Exactly!! Didn't he know that before?? My opinion - he did and probably was just fooling around. But when things got a little serious, he panicked. Like all guys do. :D
He might have had the greatest of intentions at heart too - saving the girl from a lot of heart ache and all later etc etc.
But who knows??!!
Once again, thanks a lot for the appreciation.
Cheers
hmm.. I thought about it.
Here is what I think why he continued with the relationship despite of the fact of differences.
#1 He didn't expect how bad the reaction at his place could be till he got to see it live in the case of his cousin.
#2 He is now away from her so it is easier for him to choose the other option. As long as the girls are in front of the guys -they keep charming them for no reason at all.Well, she wasn't there.. 'the feeling ' he experienced during her presence was not there. It was easy.
#3 He didn't expect the girl to fall for him. He doubted her love for him.She liked him but did she Love him...? She never admitted that- Why trouble her and everyone. She isn't sure about it anyway.
#4 In the face of the guy- HE DIDN'T LOVE HER- HE LIKED HER!His infatuation phase expired. :/
---
The first and the third reason make a lot of sense. If what he did was due to any of these, I think he didn't do such a bad thing after all. :)
The other two points more or less imply the same thing - it was NOT love - which is perfectly fine. What is not is the fact that Nikhil led Rashi into believing that it was and that is where he was beng a jerk.
hmhm... interesting read yaar.
loved the ending esp the part where the automated system gives the b day wishes.
That first set of romance was well crafted yaar. the lifting up to reach his head.
-----------------------------------
love I think needs to be blind and crazy. else it loses its charm & magic.
I too hate seeing my people cry and they will - when I refuse to go 4 arranged marriage, but it s my life and I dont really care how I live it as long I live it.
I think life is simple. We make it complex. One can never satisfy every1...
anyways nice post yaar.
cheers..
hey by the way .. try this post -
http://average-everyday.blogspot.com/2008/06/love-and-marriage-forgotten-bond.html
my own rant on love and marriage.
But I believe that
Love is in the air....:P
Allah bachai yeh mohabbat karne walo ko aur unki kahaniyan likhne walon ko....:P
Well i cant really dig into the story that much as your fellow bloggers are doing....
Title makes lot of sense after one reads it totally..Its not a love story after all,having lot of not-so-clear feelings of them for each other ( i mean both of them).
I liked it very much....
Keep writing such stories...
you come with a bomb and blow it on my face.
wow!
this is terrific. just the right dose for the right person.
luvy duvy libra me :D
ahhh i m so in love with you now ;)
dont kill me, it is nothin bad :D
i love you for the words... mwahh!
@ Muthu - Thanks a ton buddy. :)
Ah, I so wish I could take the whole crdit for that whole lifting up and all, but I have had help there. ;)
And I couldn't agree with you more!! Honestly!! What's the fun of being in love if it does not involve a little crazyness and risk?
And yes, WE are the ones who make the simplest of things complex. Wonder why we do that though??
Thanks again for reading and commenting. :)
Cheers
@ Mahes - Really?? It is?? Wonder why is it eluding me then?? ;) lol
Mohabbat sachi ho tto, Allah hamesha ifaazat karega. :)
Title...hmmm..well what do I say?? Thanks to an AWESOME friend for the help with it. :P
I'm really glad that you did like it. :)
Cheers
Ooops...meat Mahesh and not Mahes. :D lol
Mahes sounds nice too btw. :P ha ha
@ Awwww......I'm soooo happy that you liked it. I had serious doubts over this one.
Thanks ya. Really. :)
Mwahh!!
Alright!! I'm sleepy!! That was supposed to be @ AD - Awwwwww......
!!
I'm someone who's zero percent sexually romantic. Especially when it comes to expression of feelings... in a sense, a little like your lady protagonist... Love n stuff. I'm more romantic abuot friendships. But as you say: ",....Or perhaps she did and only pretended that she did not. No one knows. Not even her. But she did have weird notions...."
May be i dont know myself.
But...as i read the last few lines of your post... my eyes filled with water for half a minute.
But I still think it's got to do with the way you told the story.
Nikhil, i think, is an Asshole by the way.
@ Zlaek - Well at least you are open to the idea that you may not know yourself, which is no small feat. :)
Oh my god!! Are you a person who does not cry a lot?? :O
Awww....I would like to think so. ;)
And, ah! We think alike!! :D lol
Cheers
Haaawwwwwww.... :( :( :(
Damnn..poor girl!! :(
Reeally well written!! Loved it!! :) :)
You're getting better and better!! Cheers! =))
P.S.: oyeeee...Sorryyyy for being so late here!!! m really tied up..exams exams..exams..and now this fever!!!
No situation makes my cry. I do feel things intensly....but tears don't come!
And forgot to mention...Goodbye my lover by Blunt is a song very close to my heart :)
@ Dr. Acula - Well the display name seems to be having its effects on you. :P
Ahhh...yeah sad ho gaya na thoda zyada??
He he...really?? Well thank you! :)
Wait a minute..what? You mean I wasn't all that great pehle?? Hmmpphhh....mil tu online mujhe!! :P :D
And what exams abhi? Isn't it vacation time all across??
And dude!! take care of yourself!! Exams and fever ikkathe!! Shucks!!
Get well soon and get to studying so that you fare awesomely well.
All the best for the exams. :)
Cheers
@ Chinmayee - You know you are more alike me than I thought initially. :)
Of course, apart from the fact that you are more, much more wiser than I think I ever will be. ;)
Ah, one of his best, innit?
Wonderfully crafted love story and the title couldn't have been more apt:)
...I loved your blog template too!
@ Calvy - Thank you so much!! :)
Welcome to C'est La Vie and thanks for making time to read to comment.
Hoping to see you around. :)
Cheers
Wow we're alike? That sounds so cool! :D :D
Would love to know you, you know. I don't exactly get to meet the best people normally.
Oh man don't even say that... I'm just keen observer.. and i LOVE to dream imagine....fantacize that's all..
Yep...one of his best..
@ Chinmayee - Yo said you are lot like the lady protagonist in this story. So am I! So keeping in line with the theory of transitivity, you and I are alike too. :)
You I believe are not just any keen observer, you know the power of observation way too well.
Listen to the one by Morisette as well. She has the ability to say the saddest and truest of things in a manner that'll make you smile, despite yourself.
Very very helpful at times. :)
Cheers
the title is damn impressive :P:P
till now urs best post....seriously..
even from the poem(read I wish) which i read before :P..
mazza aa gaya :D
@ Amrita - Thanks a tonne sweetheart!! :)
I was really really skeptical about this one. Elated that you liked it. Sachi!! :)
Cheers
commenting after a long time...
Awesome story grl... left me speechless and wid a lump in my throat.. Hit a place that knows its more than just fiction...
Another post that shows wht an awesome storyteller u are. :)
Luv,
Annie.
P.S: That was the most beautiful bday gift Nikhil wud hav ever hoped for..
@ Annie - Welcome back twinnie!!
Thanks for all the appreciation. :)
Will be reading up your latest post soon!!
Cheers
ok.. first of all.. im sorry for my lon absence from blogging and commenting on the blogs i love.. and boy.. am i glad to be back.. i just loved this post of yours.. you are such a wonderful writer.. you know how to conjure up the most gripping write-ups.. and keep the readers wanting for more...
Fabulous post Isha..
but frankly.. given the person that i am.. didnt like th ending too much.. :( ... if this is wht th guy thought.. thn why in th world did he evn get into the relationship in th first place ??? he did more than breaking her heart.. he broke a promise too.. he said 'I Love You' when he didn't mean it..................
@ Bhaalu - :)
(Sorry. I don't know what to say, except smile)
Cheers
This was brilliant. i liked it, no loved it!
I read this a long time back,
just came back to leave a comment now..
phrases and scenes from this one randomly play at the back of my mind sometimes ;)
@ Meghana - Love you for the fact that you made the effort to come back and comment. :)
I was very very unsure about this one. Your words reassure me, that it is not half as bad as I thought it to be.
Really?? That's super cool!!
Once again, thanks for the wonderful comment. :)
Cheers
Isha,
I am here from annie..First up,Uare truly awesome.. :) I do not really have words to say,how much of an impact its leaving me.For its like,I know two ppl are in this kinda situation even now.. :)
I am surprised that its fiction rather..Brilliante.. :)
am blogrolling ya.. :)
Nikhil
Welcome to C'est La Vie MultiMenon.:) (Once again) :P
Really? I am?? What makes you say that? I bow to that compliment nonetheless. :)
Oh my God!! My heart goes out to them. Here's a sincere wish that things work out fine with them!
One's fiction is another's reality. *mysterious smile* :P
Cheers
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