C'est La Vie....

So this is how it feels, she thought, as she felt the fine granules of sand leaving her clenched fist to meet the earth. It was almost as if the earth was pulling them towards itself, and they had but little choice to not fall in its trap.

Not too long ago, she had felt sure that the fistful of sand in her hands was in her control. Completely. Entirely. Unequivocally.

So this is how it feels to see your life slipping out of your hands. To know that someone else held the strings all along and your beliefs were nothing but a make believe world you had created for yourself.

An unannounced gust of wind was enough to throw her off balance and make her let go of the sand that she had kept safe in her tiny hands despite the strong storm. The pebbles, the clip, and the pen cap had all been dropped, to preserve the sand. And now, it was gone too.

Your life is a mess. You know it. One aspect goes wrong and you try to fix it. Another aspect falls to pieces, you ignore it. But there is that one thing, you know will never go wrong. Because you have put all that you ever had in it, sometimes at the cost of other, more important things in life. And yet, one fateful day, you find yourself feeling empty. 

She stood there -
Watching the sand that had now become a part of the infinite on that beach.
Feeling helpless for she could not pick up the lost pieces.
Listening to the sounds of the subsiding storm outside
Raging a much stronger storm inside of her

If I was so sure of where I was going....how did I get so lost?

The hours go by, uncounted. The clock ticks, unwillingly. Wishing you would limbo into sleep so that it can rest too. You shift and toss around in bed. Try to shut your mind off. Remind yourself to shut your eyes too. You are falling into a bottomless pit. It is dark. Unbelievably dark. It feels like being sucked into a meaningless space, a space that has nothing except the color black.

You hear voices. In your head. You lean on the Metro door and look out towards the city lights. The chit chat of the chirpy girls does nothing to drown the voices. You plug your earphones in. The voices stop. Instead, a montage of images starts playing - replete with background music. In hapless frustration, you snap them out and swear.

The cold air hits your face. Much like reality. You close your eyes for some seconds. But you can't keep them closed for long. And then, the void again. You start to move. But the void doesn't. You are going into the center of the void. Slowly first, then faster. You want to scream. But the void clasps your mouth shut. You want to explode.....to shatter into millions of pieces, but the void holds you, till you choke.