C'est La Vie....

Rashi promised herself that this time she will not let herself give an excuse to walk out of a relationship that would amid the many insecurities she feared show her a world of little joys and eternal happiness and true love perhaps. The excuses so far had been amusing, if not lame altogether. Someone was way too tall, someone very taciturn, someone very organised and someone way too fair even! Not this time though, she thought to herself.

It had been only a month since she had met Nikhil and yet it seemed like they had known each other for ages. Both of them having imposing personalities, were egotists of the highest order and were extremely stubborn, which on some occasions brought a lot of fun and on others led to tension between the two. But one or the other would always give in and the two would be back to being the lovebirds that they had become.

Rashi, a very unusual girl, was not very expressive when it came to letting her close ones know what they meant to her. Perhaps this was the reason why she had never really been lucky in the matters of the heart. Of course, her rather unusual choice in guys being partly to blame too.

She did not believe in Love. Or perhaps she did and only pretended that she did not. No one knows. Not even her. But she did have weird notions about this so called "Love".

"Nikhil, don't ever say that you love me, unless you mean it for real.", she said after they had had a small fight and Nikhil had slipped in a "But you know that I love you sweetie." while comforting her. She was a little taken aback at this.

Sure, she liked him, more than anything and anyone else in the world and knew that he did too, but love?? LOVE - if it existed - scared her!

"I do mean it sweetheart.", he asserted with an intensity that Rashi had never seen before and that reflected not only in his words but his eyes too.

Nikhil sensed her uncomfortableness and said "And you DON'T have to say it back if you don't want to." And once again Rashi hated herself for not being able to bring herself to say those three words.

"Thanks. Thanks for understanding.", was all she could manage to say.

"But you don't mind if I say je t'aime, right? Instead of I Love You??", he asked with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Remind me to wear stilettos the next time I come to meet you.", she said.

"Uhhh...okkk...but why?", asked Nikhil, a little surprised.
"So that I can whack you on your head whenever I want to.", she answered, trying to reach the top of his head by standing on tiptoes.

"Achaaa?? I could always lift you, you know.", he said, coming in closer.

"Yeah right. Size dekha hai apna?", Rashi poked fun at the very idea and started giggling.

In answer to her question, Nikhil wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up in one smooth movement.

Rashi's giggling was replaced with a surprised smile. She put her arms around his neck and rubbed her nose against his thrice and lingered, her face so close to his that she could feel his breath on her. He gave her a gentle peck on her cheek and said "I'm sorry but it's not my fault that I can't help falling in love with you."

She just crinkled her nose in answer and again in one smooth movement he put her back on the ground.

And hand in hand, they entered the theatre for the movie, which by now was about to reach its interval.


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He looked at the entry gate of the airport for the tenth time in the last three minutes. His mind said that she wouldn't come but his heart wished otherwise.

They had had a fight last night which ended in her hanging up on him. She hadn't been taking his calls since.

Disappointed, he sat down and thought how difficult the coming one month would be. He was going to London for the last leg of his graduation - his training.

He knew no one there and was not at all excited at the prospect of going so far away from Rashi when she had her summer vacations on. Adding to his misery was the fact that his birthday fell in this particular month. Never for the past 22 years of his life had he spent it alone, without friends and family.

He was almost on the verge of tears when he felt his cell phone vibrate in his jeans pocket. His heart took a leap when he saw who was calling.

"Hello?? Where are you?? Your flight hasn't left, has it?? I'm stuck in the parking outside. I'll be there in ten minutes max. Wait!! Ok!!??", she gushed in one breath.

And soon enough, a girl who looked like she had come right out of her bed, could be seen running and bumping into people, stumbling, regaining her lost balance and then running again towards the bench where Nikhil sat.

Panting she stood in front of him. Nikhil could make out from her puffed up red eyes that she had been up all night crying. He got up to face her.

Rashi put her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulders for a full minute before they both burst out saying "I'm sorry!" at the same time.

She looked up into his eyes and he read what they were saying. Tucking the two strands of her hair falling on her face, behind her ear, he said, almost choked, "I'll miss you too." He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her on the forehead. "I wish I could freeze time and hold you like this forever."

Unwillingly, he broke apart and picked his luggage up with one hand (as the final call was being made) while the other was holding hers. Squeezing it slightly, he said, "You do know that I love you, right? Oops! I meant je t'aime." " I know, I know. You and your concept of "Love". But I love you and I'll say it all I want to." And with a final look at her, he turned around and walked away into the sea of crowd moving towards the entrance for the waiting lounge.

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She called him with half an hour still to go for his birthday. She wanted to make sure that she was the first one to wish him a happy birthday.

"Hi sweety. How are you?", she asked, being her chirpy self.

"Hey..." Just from the tone of that "Hey" she sensed that something was not right.

"Hey!! You alright? You don't sound so good!", she asked, getting concerned.

"Hmmm..."

"Kya hua baby? What's bothering you?"

"Nothing."

"Shut it ok! I know some thing's wrong and I'm not letting you not tell me about it. So out with it."

"Remember Akansha, mu cousin?", he gave in finally. "Mausi has come to know about her relationship and all hell has broken lose."

"Uh-oh."

"Yeah."

"So what's the problem? The guy isn't good? Or is it the fact that it isn't arranged?", the problem-solver in her came to the fore-front.

"Neither."

"Then?"

"The problem is that he ain't one of us."

"Phirang hai kya?", asked Rashi.

"Very funny. He's not from our caste ya."

"Excuse-me!!?? But he is a nice guy, right?"

"I guess."

"So let me get this straight. Your mausi has objections just because he's not from your caste ?" asked Rashi incredulous.

"It gets better. He actually does belong to the same caste as us but not from the same segment."

"Unbelievable!!" Rashi was too surprised to say anything else.

"And I have just got done trying to convince her out of this relationship because mausi asked to."

And then it hit her.

Still she said, "It's ok Niks. Sometimes we have to do things we don't really want to or...."

"Oh shut it Rashi!"

There was silence on the line.

"I feel rotten you know. I feel like this big hypocrite who's convincing his cousin of not doing something when he himself is involved with a girl who forget the same segment or caste, does not even belong to the same religion. I mean I'm Parsi and you a Punjabi for crying out loud!"

Silence again.

"I don't know Rashi. I could not see my mausi cry and I know I won't be able to see either of my parents in such a condition."

"Hmmmm...is this what I think it is?", asked Rashi.

"You tell me. Will you be able to stand up to your parents for an inter-caste marriage?"

"Nikhil, I don't know if I'll be marrying you at all. It is too early for me to even think something like that. But then that is something which I'll never have to worry about, because if I love someone enough to marry him, I'll do all that is in my power and beyond to make sure that I do, parents notwithstanding."

For a third time that day, silence made a re-appearance.

"I'm not too sure Rashi. I'll be deluding myself if I say that I'll be able to do that for you."

"And I understand. I do Nikhil. Better sooner than later. So this is it I guess then.", Rashi said, more to herself than to him.

"This is it. Goodbye Rashi."

"Goodbye Nikhil."

With the click of the phone on her side, the clock struck twelve and a song started playing on Rashi's laptop. In her voice. His birthday present.

"I just called to say I love you. And I mean it from the bottom of my heart."

"Happy Birthday Nikhil.", she whispered as a solitary tear rolled down her cheek.

P.S. Listen to the songs "Goodbye My Lover" by James Blunt and "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette. I think they go along with the tone of the post. And of course they are prettu good to listen to too. :)

As you all (meaning those masochists who read my blog to get tortured no end) already know that I have taken my first step in the big bad corporate world (I just love making everything sound so melodramatic!) as an intern at a financial consultancy, so I thought it was time to report what I have been up to and how the company is still managing to stand, what with me in its premises! ;)

Well, those who are familiar with either me or this blog, know the kind of experiences I have had with the corporate world and for those who are not, chinta not!! Here’s all you need to know. :) "The Third Degree"

So, let’s start at the beginning. The first day. I arrive on time. (!) The waiting room soon swells up with loads of people, most of who seem to be interns too. But for the number of people in that room, there was very and I mean very little conversation. How was I to stand it!!?? Meri presence mein itna sannata!!??

So I took it upon my naazuk shoulders to bring some life into that dead room. And then began a round of introductions, some small talk and pleasant chit chat. In the course of this bonhomie, I decided to entertain all present with the anecdote of my interview at that particular company. I told them how surprised I was that I was actually selected for the training, as my interview had been anything but good. I barely knew any answers in the technical round - the most important of them all! And I described to them in detail how two people had taken my interview, one – a somewhat older, strict-looking guy and the other – a young and seemingly friendly kinda guy and how I answered all the questions I knew the answers to while looking at the older one and how I just flashed a dazzling smile at the younger one, each time I didn’t know an answer. ;) And I also told them how confidently I had given them a wrong answer. And how when they cross questioned me on it, I gave the same answer with the same confidence!

Na na, the story ain't over yet. Apparently there among the sea of interns, were also two three Assistant Managers, one of who was sitting right next to me and turned out to be in the same team as me!!

The moment I saw her being introduced in the office as the new AM of my department, all I could think was “There goes my PPO!” :( :(

And to think that that would be the end of me and her, was foolish of me. It turned out that her temporary seat was the one – yeah, you are on the right track- right next to me. :( :( :(

Now she had gone and collected all the stationery from the administration and kept it in her drawer. Now anyone who has been in an office knows the maara-maari there is for such petty things there. I being the blissfully ignorant new intern, think that all that stationery belonged to the person who had resigned and whose seat now lies vacant. So, what do I do? Rather than waiting to be issued an ID, access card, employee number, e-mail id and n number of other things before I get the allotted stationery, I pick the easier route. The route of course went through that particular drawer. And what happens next is very predictable; she asks me if I know where all the stationery went and I make the most innocent possible face ever (trust me, never have I been more grateful to the hours of practice put in those theatre classes) and say “No clue!” with a nonchalant shrug. And add “I took this one pencil though!” with a slightly flushed look on my face (Damn! I’m good!) :D

And the moment she moved from her seat, I promptly put all of it back and some extra stuff too, just in case! Later when she opened her drawer and realsied that it had all come back, she said “Look Isha, the stationery has come back on its own!”

And God bless the other intern for showing up at that precise moment and asking me to solve a problem he was having, for it helped me to completely ignore the AM’s comment. :D

The next day, she had been assigned a seat far away from me, thankfully!

And of course, how can I forget the introduction round? The moment my introduction began, there were sounds of crockery breaking in the cafeteria! : And it rained and hailed on my first day there. And I missed my cab and had to take a private cab back home.

All in all an eventful first day. :D

But if only the goof-ups ended there. :(

I ended up bad mouthing a very eminent college of the city, saying that only those who can cram facts and figures and are nothing more than mugging parrots end up in that college, to a team member, who it turned out was a pass-out of that college! I love you God, and I’m sure you love me too. It just shows You know. :P

Another one took place just two days back. A guy, somewhere in his late twenties, started talking to me out of the blue, while I was trying to figure out where to find my cab. This guy, at an earlier occasion too had tried to make conversation with me at the printer. For the uninitiated, the printer is akin to what the water cooler used to be in school. The place where people catch up with each other. So anyway, I listened to him, ohho, alright!, pretended to listen to him for some 2-3 minutes before getting irritated and saying “Listen ya, I really need to find my cab or else I’ll miss it” in a well, let’s just say, not-a-very-friendly tone!

On another occasion, while in the cab, one of my team members tells me about the other AM of our department and I’m totally clueless as to who she is talking about. The next day I look where she told me he sits, and lo and behold! The irritating chape guy was sitting on that chair!! Booo hoooo…..I wanted to cry!!

Why me??? WHY???

What now? Isn’t all this enough?? The post ends here. :P Gosh! What do you think of me haan??

P.S. Would love to know if any of you have had similar devastating experiences!
Well I’m sure this post gave you some re-assurance, time to return the favour now!! :P

P.P.S. As you might have noticed, it’s not so easy to master goof-ups such these, and hence I won’t be able to blog all that much. But dare any of you forget me or my blog!

P.P.P.S. Enjoy the lighter side of “C’est La Vie” while it lasts. Will be back to the grim posts soon. :D (Main grim bhi itni happily hoti hoon…he he…hmmm…I AM weird!! *shudders*)

Before I begin with my latest worthless attempt at fiction, I would like to sincerely apologize for making my blog disappear just like that and for the inconvenient visiting hours ( not that many would have noticed I’m sure, but still…). There were reasons aplenty for staying away from the most wonderful place on earth – Blogsville, exams, blog falling prey to unwanted eyes and some personal reasons being some of them.
I start off with my two and a half month long internship from tomorrow and I don’t know whether or not I’ll be able to blog all that regularly (hey! I saw that sigh of relief :P) and that’s the reason I wanted to post something today, despite having a long and tiring but fun day.
So here goes….