Before I begin with my latest worthless attempt at fiction, I would like to sincerely apologize for making my blog disappear just like that and for the inconvenient visiting hours ( not that many would have noticed I’m sure, but still…). There were reasons aplenty for staying away from the most wonderful place on earth – Blogsville, exams, blog falling prey to unwanted eyes and some personal reasons being some of them.
I start off with my two and a half month long internship from tomorrow and I don’t know whether or not I’ll be able to blog all that regularly (hey! I saw that sigh of relief :P) and that’s the reason I wanted to post something today, despite having a long and tiring but fun day.
So here goes….
HE
Hook, line and sinker! This had to happen!! She has fallen for me!! How can anyone resist my charm…and for how long? Albeit it took a little longer than I desired…I bet my left earlobe…it’s going to be worth all the waiting…and scheming…thanks to all the research I did on her.
Alexander the Great…is what she purred into my ears…besides the sweet nothings.
Well it is not the first time someone has called me that…Every female I befriended in the past has unfailingly showered me with such lofty sobriquets…Oh these girls…Sentimental fools…all of them…Is is such fun playing with their gullibility…They are all so vulnerable…a couple of quick zips on my Eliminator…a few sweet words…and they all go weak in their knees…
But this one is different…or so I think…For a change she seems to have some gray matter while the scores I dated in the past were all beauty and no brains…Heady combination this…I’ll take the cake with the icing…uuummmm…I’m drowning in delicious delirium.
Ice-Maiden…she is the Iron Lady…you can’t touch her with a bargepole…she’s not your type…that is what the boys had to tell me…typical down-market guys and…flotsam and jetsam crowd in this place…what better can I expect from them…? Being a technocrat-in-the-making, I know there is something called the melting point…and this one too is going to melt…in my arms.
SHE
I have always felt this place is not made for me. I have lived here for over three years and yet I feel I don’t belong to this place. I happen to be here more by chance than by choice. If only my IITJEE had gone well. Nonetheless I have my focus in place. Be the best chemical engineer passing out, succeed at the campus recruitment and settle down in an organization that values environmental preservation and conservation the most. Our environment needs careful tending and cleansing too, and I have made it the mission of my life.
The cultural fest is on and I’m compelled by my classmates to attend. I have never showed up at any of these fests in the past as I find them a complete waste of time. But this is my last year in college and I think I’ll make this a one-time exception. But before I leave, I have to tend to my bonsai plants, for they are the only friends that I have made over the years, while all others are but acquaintances.
Books can make great friend and I have always savoured their company. From sun-up to sun-down I pour over every book and devour it. Being an avid reader, I have always been on an insatiable quest for literature, be it mystery, crime, suspense, or intrigue. Arthur Conan Doyle, Edgar Allan Poe, Alfred Hitchcock, Erley Stanley Gardner, Agatha Christie…I read them all with religious fervour. Back home my people find this rather amusing, if not unusual.
I have no clue what opinion my hostel-mates hold about me; maybe they think I’m some sort of a queer environment freak. If they find me conversing with my bonsai plants unusual, I’m not to blame. To me flora and fauna hold a symbiotic existence with us humans. I suspect all the people out here put up with me because they need my help in academics. They know I’m matchless at studies.
HE
All thanks to Kishore da…Yeh sham mastaani…madhosh kiye jaaye…mujhe dor koi kheenche…teri ore liye jaaye..It was the rendering of this number at the college fest that did the trick…the crowd went bonkers over the old classic I crooned in what everyone calls my gold mine of a voice. However my eyes were all the while searching for her…in the maddening melee…and there she was…all eyes and ears…enthralled…enchanted…entranced…My magic had worked…the conjurer in mu vocal chords had swept her off her feet into a fantasy world…thus it all started.
SHE
I was always made to believe that I’m a man trapped in a woman’s body, courtesy my interest in cricket and football, disinterest in anything even remotely do with enhancing one’s looks (read make-up), knowledge about cars and bikes and my obsession with books on crime. My peers felt that I was straying into an area that had traditionally belonged to men. The rebel in me however, refused to cower and the more I was prevented, the more I pursued all these.
It required a man like Alex to make me realize my womanhood. The soulful singing of the number…yeh sham mastaani…It was as if the song was written for me…and Alex sang it for me so mellifluously…Today is the happiest day of my life…I know I have found my soulmate…He is my Greek God…Alex.
HE
Well…what started off as a small-time crush has in no time grown into a…breezy affair…the two of us are found all over the place…painting the town red…she likes the rides on my mean machine…and surprisingly knows a lot about it…she loves the muffled thundering noise it makes…while we zip past the four-wheeler traffic at whirlwind speeds on the NH…she clings to my broad shoulders…like all the others did in the past…blame it on my animal magnetism…she finds me irresistible…as for me…its déjà vu…
Goes well with the truism…women don’t think with their brains…this one is no exception…all of IQ and no EQ whatsoever…to hell with all her academic accomplishments…she’s clueless that I would be dumping her…sooner rather than later…
SHE
Alex…the very mention of his name sends a sweet shiver down my spine. I never knew that happiness could be so blissful…I had read about the ‘Cloud Nine’ feeling that one experiences in love. But a paradise of this proportion was beyond all stretches of my imagination.
I know he is made for me. Or else how is it he knows all my likes and dislikes. Starting with my obsession for Kishore’s romantic songs, my favourite perfumes and shampoos, my food choices ranging from soups to desserts, my bibliomania to my favourite browsing sites…he knows them all…I think I have met my alter ego. I am so lucky that I found him…I cannot imagine my life without him.
HE
To me all relationships come with an expiry date…this one is no different…it’s shelf life cannot be more than a semester…I will not let her cling on to me forever…It gives me the creeps…the very thought of staying and living with a single female all my life…ad nauseam!!! She had better understand all men are polygamous by nature…blame it on…androgen…and all that stuff…ooohhh…let go of me…make way for the others to experience to me.
SHE
All right…my man-perfect does have a few shades of gray in his personality…He is so possessive about his bike…Eliminator…no one is allowed to touch it…besides, etiquettes to him is a dirty word…says normal is boring…formalities be damned…at the dining table…to hell with table manners…no spoons, no forks…just bare hands…he hates to wash his hands before having food…he says macho men never do it. I look at all these as monor aberrations…there is nothing that love cannot change…love – pure, unconditional and infinite – I am going to shower on my dear Alex…until I change him.
HE
This one is proving to be a tough cookie…In the past I could effect breakups from relationships in a jiffy…getting out of relationships was always simpler than getting into them…one sure-shot method is to begin to brag in front of her about your past escapades and accomplishments…use derision generously…this has always worked for me…while some hot-headed ones go ballistic, call you names…most others are all tears and emotions…either way the end result is the same…a breakup…mission accomplished, you move on to some other unsuspecting prey and the cycle never ends…
I’m at my wits’ end…she is in no mood to leave me…I have tried every trick, but to no avail…she’s clinging to me like a limpet…and what is worse…she is talking of marriage…how preposterous!!! I ridiculed her on that point…teased her, mocked her, chided her…she is least offended…she’s in no mood to budge…It is getting on my nerves now…I have no time to waste on silly sentiments…when so many others are waiting in the wings…to play little cameos in my life and leave as silently as they had entered…that is the way I like it…no strings attached…I have to find some way to evict her from my life…
Got it! The answer to this conundrum has struck me…it is the last resort…fake an accident while she’s riding pillion on my Eliminator…soon I’ll have a new friend and a brand new bike…maybe Machismo…this has to be planned and executed quickly…no loose ends…no smart Alec suspecting foul play…
SHE
Alex hasn’t been the same with me these days…he’s always lost in thought and not willing to share with me whatever is bugging him…every relationship goes through this roller-coaster…things are not as rosy now as they used to be not very long ago…I am to blame for this…the fault lies with me…I have not given him all the care and concern he needed…especially during his recent lean patch…his grades at college have nose-dived…all due to me…but all is not lost…I still think I have it in me to set things right…my love for him will transform him and our good old days will return…I promise you that, Alex.
HE
Today is the day I have been waiting for…I will finish the job…and from tomorrow I will be a free bird. There will be a few police hassles following the incident…but I know I can pull it off and emerge unscathed…as usual I will take her on my bike during the lunch break, drop her at her hostel…have lunch in my mess and grab the habitual forty winks…in the evening take her out to our usual hangout…everything should look normal…then on the dirt road leading to NH…that is the spot…fake an accident on my Eliminator and…ELIMINATE HER…I will…what a relief that would be…
SHE
There is hope…today I see that Alex is in a good mood…nothing gives me more pleasure than Alex in his elements…I have a date with him in the late evening today…he is taking me to the usual hangouts and then he says there is a surprise in store for me…I think I know what it is…he is such a darling…in the meanwhile I will tend to my bonsai plants…some pests seem to have attacked them as they lay neglected for a long time…they need my immediate attention…off you go, you nasty pests.
Minutes of the Condolence Meeting Held
There were tears and only tears everywhere. Professors and students spoke highly of the departed soul…what a great loss it is to all…how the void created could never be filled…may the soul rest in peace.
ME
I stood there in a corner – all silent and stoic, at the Condolence Meeting, listening to all the good things being said of the deceased…but did they really know the dead person as much as I did – from close quarters?
The call had come exactly fifteen minutes after we had parted at my hostel that afternoon…it said food poisoning suspected…Alex is rushed to the hospital. Poor guys are unaware…no resuscitation is possible because I had ensured the dosage was more than lethal…Little did the predator know of the reversal of roles with the prey.
Alex had barged into my life and whipped up a storm in my otherwise tranquil mind, sweeping me off my feet he had landed me in seventh heaven and when he was done with me he had dropped me off like a hot potato. I stomached all the ridiculing, insults and derision without any offense for he was the man whom I had loved. I would have forgiven and forgotten all these and more with a large yet broken heart. But trying to knock me off…that was the last straw…I had to something very soon.
I will never know exactly how he had planned to bump me off…but he had shown very clear indications of his intentions on at least two earlier occasions…how could I let him get third time lucky? I had to beat him at his game.
I have no regrets for having done this. I look at it as cleansing the atmosphere, clearing muck from our over burdened environment…just as I got rid of the pests on my bonsai plants.
It was all much simpler than I had thought…a little of the potent chemical arsenic trioxide had done the job. It was that afternoon that Alex had dropped me near my hostel on the way to his mess that I had managed to rub the pesticide powder on the accelerator throttle of his bike while he sweet-talked me about the surprise in store for me that evening.
It was all much simpler than I had thought…a little of the potent chemical arsenic trioxide had done the job. It was that afternoon that Alex had dropped me near my hostel on the way to his mess that I had managed to rub the pesticide powder on the accelerator throttle of his bike while he sweet-talked me about the surprise in store for me that evening.
I knew his incorrigible manners at the lunch table would do the rest.
RIP…Alex dear…
For the uninitiated…let the message be loud and clear…Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
46 comments :
Heh heh heh, I think you hit publish without adding a title to this post. Right?
Talk about a femme fatale...
That modus operandi reminded me of Ruskin Bond's He Said it with ArsenicAnd u say this is a *worthless* attempt. A very humble nefarious angel. :P
And good luck with the internship! :)
Oh, and btw, u know it at the back of your mind, yet - nice narration! :)
Peace.
Yeah, but I realized that within seconds of publishing it!!
OMG!! Read that like ages back ya, brings back all the memories of school reading books. :)
You saw right through the fake modesty na? Damn!! :( Need to work on my convincing skills! ;)
Thank you for the luck!! I'm sure will need it in dollops. :)
Thank you, thank you. :)But honestly, that was one part I didn't like!!
Cheers
But u realized it late; that's what matters. Bleh! :P*
I didn't read it in scholl, though. Read it in one of his omnibus texts.
Haan haan, convincing skills. :P* Lets see how good (or how bad) ur convincing gets. :D
Be a good nefarious angel at the intern. :P
And there you go, nefarious humility! Bah! :P*
:)
Peace.
I havent read the book kartz has mentioned here, but anyhow, this post knocked me off.
very strong narration girl!!
hehe and wrt to Kartz,
we have a blog witht that name- the femme fatale :D take some time out to reach it :D
oh n yeah, all the best for ur internship :D
Cheers!!
Oye don't you bleh me on my blog!! Huh!!
If they get worse, you'll be to blame. Company matters after all. :P
Na na that was ekdum genuine re!! Ufff....reputation I tell you. ;)
And yay!! Day one over and the building of my office still stands. :)
(Though the sound of crockery breaking in the cafetaria was heard! And yeah it rained hailstorms too ;) )
@ Richa - Do give it a shot. I'm sure you'll like it. :)
Yeah i know...will check it out for sure!!
Thank you sooo much for the appreciation and the luck. :)
Cheers
P.S. Dunno why that's happening. Will look into it. Perhaps it's because of teh change in the url, it is now www.thenefariousangel.blogspot.com
What can i say yaar...i read this yesterday and i struggled to hold myself back from commenting coz u didnt let me know of the change in url...
Its real good yaar...classy touch...tum koi book kyu nahi likthi!!..u d give jeffrey archer a run for his money( kuch zyaada toh nahi ho gaya na ;-) )...hehe
Yaar..unfortunately for u, u ll just ahve to keep blogging...i for one am not going to take koi internship as an excuse!!...;-)
top notch deary...top notch ;-)
luv
amith ;-)
PS : read this right after woh tryst in the rain ;-)...
@Richa - Yeah, I know. And women never cease to amuse me. ;)
@Isha - I will bleh you on your blog. See? Bleh! :P*
:)
Peace.
Okay. I'm a little scared of girls (women, whatever) now. But, well written!
I can't believe that I've not commented on this for such a long time, but then again... you already know my views about this.
I think it's wonderfully written, even more so 'coz it inspired the latest bit of fiction on my blog, in a weird way... and you've read it already.
Cheers...
Ohh Gawwwwd!! Do I have goosebumps??? I totally agree with AsomethingM (ASM)...book kab aa rahi hai??!!
This one is your best post so far..really!! Can't tell you how good it was!!
\m/ \m/
:D
Cheerio. :)
@ Amith - I apologise once again for that!! Sawieeee !! ;)
I'm sure I would, but I kinda like his work, so nahhh. :P
Ufff!!! Internship could be so exhausting, I had no idea!!
Thank you sooooo much for all the appreciation. :)
Cheers
@ Karthik - Now you see what I'll do to your comment section! Hmmmpphhh!!
Where ARE you btw ???
Cheers
@ Sneezy Melon - Lol!! Name one person who isn't. ;) he he
And thank you so much. :)
And ohh!! Welcome!!! And keep coming back, else I'll mahe sure you are scared of one particular girl. :P
Cheers
@ Arnab - Me too!!! Hmmpphhhhhh !!
Yes I do, but quite frankly I don't think you are as honest about it as I'm about your work. :P
And about that, I've always loved inspiring your stories in some way or the other, this time I'm not too sure. But I guess you are happy that it came about and if you're happy, tto main kyun sad houn?? (See, the crankiness is creeping in here too!! :()
And yeah, I'll be commenting soon on yours. :)
Cheers
@I.B - AsomethingM?...oooh u meant Awesomething M..hehe...;-)...lolz...
@ Dr. Akula a.k.a Siya a.k.a I.B. - Yay !! Finally my favourite reader is here!! :)
You had goosebumps????? YIPPEE!!!!!
That was just ASM's (?) over the top flattery, by which he thinks I'll stop pulling his leg. :D
Thank you, thank you, thank you. :) :)
And hey!! HAPPY B'DAY once again!! :)
Cheers
@ Amith - Not everyone does slips of keyboard like you. :P
wt!! shes ur fav reader!! itna bada dhoka!! hmmm....dosth dosth naa raha..hmmppphhh
YAY!! Favorite reader!!! \:D/ \:D/
My birthday's over..but thankyoou again!! :D
Ohh..I SO wanna post about it..NO time at all!
@ASM..Who DA mayyyn..NOW, eh??? :P :P
I seem to be the favorite reader..everywhere!! waaah..! :D
@Isha: AHAHAHA..cool one! keyboard slip!! AHAHAHA. :P
Super AWESOME!
Some people just need to be given their own medicine. They gotta know it taste's bitter.
Did I just accept I am a male aka jerk basher? Whatever, they deserve every bit of it.
But it's written in a very very very unique way and it is amazing!
finally!!! got motivation to go through this long post of yours.....
loved reading , specially "his" part :P
p.s : go gr8 at interns , don't forget to enjoy the same.
@ Amith - You bet she is!! :P
And excuse me? dost? kaun? tum?! maine tumhe kab apna "dost" banaya? :P ;)
And stop putting an extra 'h' in every word. :P
Cheers
@ Dr. Acula - Waiting for the I-pod show off girl!!! Post jaldi jaldi na!!
Cheers
@ Netika - Those are like my favourite words of wisdom to give away when someone is having bf trouble. ;)
They do, they totally do.
Well I don't think I've been able to do justice to the idea that I had in my head, but thanks nonethelss. It means a lot. :)
Cheers
@ Neeraj - He he, I know it was super long. Brevity is just not my cup of tea. :(
I'm sure you'd have been able to identify with it, right ?
I sooo wish I'm able to do that! :)
Cheers
Ishaaa, thts an awesome template!!!
you call it worthless attempt?? this was the best story i read in the recent past!! wow, wut a description!! *respects* grl..
Good luck with your internship?? make good use of it, it gives you the frst flavor of your work life or so i believe. wer r ya doin ur internship?
hey
i m angry wid u..
i was looking for ur blogs like manic.. n u dint informed me tht u have changed....
thts bad
i got ths link frm somebody else blog...
:(
i dnt knw hw to make angy face, nahi to i wud have made it
...
hehehe... :)
i think its enough..for u....
heheheh
aur.. i dnt knw... kaisey gussa kartey hai..
but u knw ...ths is wrong..i m sad....
Pallav
;-)...hehe...yeshh maam...hehe...
@I.B - OYE!! enuff ok..dont rub it in!!..wat can i say..isha's just got bad taste ;-)
oh and btw..ASM sounds like awesome..hehe
WHO DA MAN NOW!!
One of the most unusual pieces of fiction i've ever read!
With flashes of profundity every now and there, it makes a great read.
And more importantly, I could relate to SO much of it... I guess many people would... the scope is pretty large.
I like I like :D
Sorry for the late late late response.... I was caught up with some abnormal (itnernal) neurological activity.
the longer the better or else i would have complained about you being too kanjoos with narration!
this is really a blow to my talent ;)
hehehe
@ Sawan - Yayyieeeeeeeee !!!! Thank you!!!! :)
Oye!! Inna serious waala appreciation?? Respect n all!! *tries to regain her lost balance* :P Suit nahi karta :P he he
Internship!! he he...dun ask....aaj jaldi bhaag kar aa gayi...got a scolding from my team manager ob phone on my way back home!! lol..actually lol nahi i should be >> :(
And you want me to repeat your mistake ? :P By writing the name of my organisation hea? :P he he
Cheers
@ Pallav - Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy !!!!!!!!!!! I'm soooooooooooooo sorry!!!!!!!!!!!
It's just that I was so busy with exams n then my internship now, that I ahrdly had time to go to all the bloggers' spaces leeting them know of the change!!
Posted the new address mostly as a post script to my comment on something written by someone. And tumne tto recently kuch likha hi nahi. :P
He he...dekha kitni chant hoon main? Apni galti bhi doosron pe daal deti hoon!! Lol
I am really sorry ya!! I really am! A hundred apologies!!
Promise aage se aisa nahi hoga!!
And hey! nothing to say about the post? :O
Anyway, hope you are not gussa anymore!
Cheers
@ Dream'R - I have got bad taste?? Hmmmm, you know I think I agree with you for a change. After all I DO let you comment on my blog. He he :P
@ Chinmayee - Look who's talking about profundity!!! The lil girl who seems to know it all!! :P
All right! So I'm confused! Who was it that you could relate to - Alex or the supposed Ice Maiden?? ;)
I'm so glad that you liked it!!
Better late then never, right? ;)
And well, too much neurological activity hasn't helped anyone!! :P
Hope all's well. :)
Cheers
@ AD - He he. NOTHING can ever be a blow to YOUR talent!! Let alone this!
Cheers
i have a gmail id. u r welcome to send a mail and then i shall add u on my chat :) maybe ter u cud tell me wer u r doin ur internship :)
aur respect karne ke time pe karna chahiye :) this was too good a write up!
teram manager scold nahi ki?? wish he reads this post [evil grin] :)
@ Sawan - Surprise surprise!! Nahi she was totally cool about it!! Yay!! :D
Hmmm...will do so. :)
And thanks once again!! :)
Cheers
oye Isha.. if u hv checked na then.. i hv written 3 post down the line...
woh bhi masaley waali...
hehehe..
arey dost need not to be apologize......
its ok
Pallav
Hey, that was a nice piece of fiction. I am aspiring writer myself and going around the blogworld to see how other people write. I stumble upon so many blogs like yours that write such great fiction, it makes really intimidated :)
Great work. Keep it up.
Very well executed. You did manage to get into a guy's mind :).
Strong charaterization :).
@ Pallav - Really ??? I think the change in the template has wreaked havoc in the blogs I follow waali list...
Anyway...masaley waali ?? Pallav's blog, here I come!! :P
Arre nahi ya, genuine waala sorry tha! :)
All cool now right ? :P
Hii Devilish Angel,
14 and you already know what you want to do in life?? Hats off to you young lady. :)
And thankyou for that compliment...means a hell lot. :)
But know what, you have an early start and something tells me that once I go through YOUR blog, I'll be the intimidated one. :P
Uff, tumhara welcome karna tto bhool hi gayi!! Welcome to C'est La Vie!! Keep comin back and do read the earlier stuff too. :)
P.S. Your display name and my url address are similar! :)
P.P.S. You are the youngest reader on my blog. :P
@ Brown Phantom - Hmmm....first things first..nice display name. :P
Well, being a tom boy for more than half of your life, does have some side-effects. ;) (good or bad, I am yet to discover!)
Thank you so much. :)
And hey! thanks for dropping by...keep visiting. :)
Cheers
Amen! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Saw a living breathing example in my mother first and have been careful ever since :)
Awesome characterization. And for a gal, you GUY pretty well \m/
Your blog theme reminds of some Swanky Indian 5-star restaurant menu (hmm..i'm hungry gotta make a snack)
Keep them coming.\m/
bloghopped from Annie's. So hi!! :)
Feel free to drop by mine when internship breaks permit. Good luck!
@ DPhatsez - He he...Smart guy. :P
I know, I know...thank you so much. :) (Sorry, I'm not in a modesty waala mood abhi ;))
Aila!! Really ?? Is that a good thing or bad?? :O
Cheers
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