So I get it. Guys, and not just heterosexual ones but even those who are homosexual tend to place a significantly higher value on physical appearance than girls do. And being the stupid beings that girls are, they happen to give importance to attributes like intelligence, honesty, commitment and the like. But you know what guys, I don’t blame you. It’s not your fault really. That’s the way you have been made. :
So I understand the fact that a guy, even a girl for that matter would want his/her girlfriend /boyfriend to look decently good . But the question which arises here is how good is good enough ? Does she need to have an hour glass figure, the perfect hair, the perfect lips? This question gains all the more importance when the guy in question is not much of a looker himself. I mean if you look something like Brad Pitt, I'll completely understand if you want your girl friend to look like Angelina Jolie but when you are nowhere even close to that, to expect your girl friend to look like a ramp model is outright wrong .
When a girl is in a relationship with a guy, she lays bare in front of him her mind, her soul, her all. She gives him the gift of her whole self. And all the guy cares for is the wrapping paper. Great!
Seriously if a relationship of more than two years can come to a point where the guy tells his girl friend to either lose weight or lose him, I’m mighty glad that I’m single.
"WEIGHTY" ISSUES
Author: bondgal_rulz / Labels: Irritating
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70 comments :
You bet..lets not talk about how "loser"ish this is. You want your girl to be "the one", but it isn't as simple as it sounds; she has to have that sartorial elegance.
Not to miss, they come with statements like "I want my girl to be simple. Physical beauty can't keep me glued for long. It's the commitment that I desire"..
Yeah right! ANd it's the undying, unconditional commitment I shall never give.
Being single rocks anyday. Its better to be in the frying pan(if at all), than get into the fire!
Lose weight or lose him?? Wow, that's shallow!!!
I really hope not everyone in the world is like that...
WHAT?? if a guys says loose weight or im dumping you... i second u id rather be single...
who is the guy anyway to dictate what to do and what not.. if the girl is comfy with herself... damn! this thing vexes me like antyhing
@ Netika...to say that this is "loser"ish would be an under statement.
And you know what really flummoxes me is that sometimes even the guy's family is of a similar opinion. They have this image of a "perfect" bahu who looks like Aishwarya Rai, behaves like Jaya Bachchan, cooks like Sanjeev Kumar, sings like Lata Mangeshkar, earns like Indra Nooyi and yet is submissive like the typical Indian woman of the ages left behind.
Once again, GLAD to be single!
@ Arnab...I really really really hope so too. Much more than you do. For obvious reasons. ;)
@ Phoenix...glad to know that...
The girl in question is undoubtedtly always very well dressed and is one of the hottest I've ver come across despite having a few extra inches.
And I so agree with you there...she probably should lose weight...but if she does it should be cos SHE wants to and not her ass of a boy friend.
What.. loose weight or lose me..
It wud be better to loose tht looser...
@ Pallav...I hope it was that easy a decision...
isha, not every guy thinks the same way. its sad to generalize statements :(
and for ur last statement on being single, i so agree :P
@ Sawan, I really do hope that it is true. Else I'll be single for life. ;)
Cheers
u wont end up single for life, trust me :)
I so want to, but the odds are not really in your favour. :P
Plus I don't think I'll mind it all that much. ;)
Cheers
lol, odds could change any moment :) and you may start minding it even before you realize it :) so remember me when you think odds are coming in my favor :)
Yor comment brought a smile to my face. :)
I will, I promise. :)
Cheers.
Gender has nothing to do with one's liking..
I really felt a little surprised when you used a term but in front of homosexuals...
What do i know or believe is, boys have a little more prioarities for beauty or figure but they tend to loose it when they really come to know the person persoanlly..
so it applies to everyplace where boys come into picture...
Anyways NOM...Just a thought i had...
There you go! You've said it yourself that guys do place importance on appearance!
And I too was of the opinion that one's preferences vary from individual to individual, but evolutionary psychology suggests otherwise.
And this is true for homosexual men as well. And that is precisely the reason why you can see them going to great lengths just to get that "right" look.
Cheers
may that smile linger :) isha, be safe and have fun. some how i feel tht u deserve the best, so till then happy singlehood :P
@ Sawan...:)
Thanks. :)
I guess that's the way guys are made. They may say that they aren't looking for 'sexy' ppl. Just ones with good personality et all. But in the end, they want someone they can show off to their friends :D Sad, but true. Now u know why women are from mars and guys from venus ;)
@ Dhanya - Precisely. Personality for guys seems to be restricted to outer appearnance.
Oh! I so do, now. *sigh*
ouch!! - such a generalization hurts..agreed we mostly go by our testosterone levels but we aren' that bad ki we d say " stay fit ya leave"..come on yaar.. u r being harsh..
i firmly believe maybe at first, looks play a major role in a guy likin a gal but after that - once he gets to know her and stuff, if its true love, the way the girl looks no longer matters...the person inside is understood and loved...
AND food for thought - how dumb is the girl who ends up with a guy who makes a statement as the one suggested?? u say gals go by personality and shit ..guess she didnt look deep enuff eh??
nice entry...:-)...i ll be back..
gn
Luv,
Amith
I know, generalizations of any sort cannot and should not be made.
So you say looks matter only in the initial stages...what if the girl was "fit", so to say, when she had started dating the guy and over a period of time became a little over weight ?
The same guy who initially proclaimed that looks are secondary is now no longer satisfied with just the understanding and "love" that there is in the relationship. He wants more, as with the passage of time he starts taking the more important things for granted.
AND aren't we all aware of the amazing conviction skills of guys to deceive girls in believing something that they want them to, in this case, the fact that he loved her - not for her physical appearance but for the person she is ?
And in all probability, perhaps he does "love" her for who she is but at the same time wants her to be even better.
Thus my question of how good is good enough.
Thanks.
Welcome to C'est La Vie. Thanks for visiting and commenting.
See you around. :)
Cheers
Not all the boys are same isha... :P
90% of the stories introduce boy and girl as strangers, they become frnds to know each other and fall in LOVE.
So obvious story, this is not love i say where in you decide to fall in love and also decide to fall in love with which person exactly..huh..its too complicated you see...
There is one more kind of stories you would have come across, where both of them are friends from long time ( say 3-5 years for example ) and they become best frnds..Take the case of jaane tu ya jaane naa.. :P
In this case neither of them looks for figure or weight...
Actually this is very rare to see and we miss it obviously....
Tell You boys will always be boys no matter what they are.....
Even though i know this fact, i forget it for some reasons and blame the way actually things go on..
i would try to write about it sometime, just give me sometime..
Let me say this ..... U r Fit !!! ;-)
dhanya and isha: GUYS DO NOT TREAT GIRLS AS SHOW PIECES. if you have seen anyone doing that, its only cos those few are p**v**t b**ta**s. Please do not generalize statements. you and me do not have an existence alone, its the rule of the nature, we complete the circle.
dhanya, MEN are from MARS and WOMEN are from VENUS. No, i wudnt agree a change in that :)
isha, i know ive wasted enuf of ur space :P ill by u a bournville as compensation, dont ban me from here :P
The u go generalizing again!!...amazing skills of conviction??!! plz!!!...if a gal is dumb enuff to fall for all that crap..wat can i say..
So to reiterate my point, if its true love...the girl can grow fat, wrinkled, scarred, go bald..wateva..it wouldnt matter...if its true love..the person on the inside is good enuff..
But i agree ki we have a lot of wat u said goin around but i wouldnt solely blame the guys for it all..right now every1 acts a lot shallow..so the girl is just as much to blame as the guy..when its just some fling..nothing is good enuff..the sky is the limit...
I disagree with the second last para.
Today I see most of the girls, looking for a rich, wealthy guy, intentionally or unintenionally.
A date at a 5-star resutarant is much valued than tikki at the rehri.
The one with a air conditioned car is seemed to be a better choice than the one riding a bicycle.
Point here is, that for males and females both, see a lot of outer wrapper these days.
Great Post. Btw.
well similar arguments can be made for the opposite sex..but yes to judge a person by appearance or anything other than his personality is lame...
but yeah if some one puts such a condition...you are better off losing that guy for sure!!!
A very important point, it just stuck my mind and I need to add
Brave is the man who can even discuss weight issues with any woman,
Leave alone, asking her to loose some
:-P :-D
Lol...
Talk about choices. Hojeez...
Reminds me of the Saw movie series - Live or Diem make a choice. ;)
Trust all is well.
Peace.
@ Rahul....Uh, that's besides teh point. :P
Cheers
@ DreamR - She diidn't "fall" for it, this is something that happened eventually in the course of the relationship.
And I don't know what true love is, perhaps it is this, perhaps not...but that's besides the point anyway.
Anyway I did not state what I did on some flight of fantasy of my own, this is what evolutionary psychology suggests too. But I'll accept that not all guys are like this, and thankfully so.
And I totally agree that some girls fall in this category as well. Period.
Cheers
@ Sawan..."It's the rule of nature." Do I see you justifying the acts of "man"kind? :P
Aah! all right...but only for teh Bournville k. :P
Cheers. :)
Isha... wht is so difficult in taking a decision from the choice that th guy gave to that girl ??!! i feel none whtsoevr.. she shud simply kick him out of her life... no mattr how long hs the relationship lasted... that wud b th best fr th girl.. coz evn if she did manage to lose weight on th guyz insistence.. wht is th point in stayin with such a shallow guy ??!! and wht is th assurance that tmrw he wud nt go aftr sme bettr looking girl and leave th girl evn whn she has lost weight ??!! and anyways ... whn that girl leaves that guy.. she would be much 'lighter' ... with all that emotional burden off her head...!! :)
But as many of the guys hv said... its completely wrong to generalize... all the guys are not like that... yes.. physical appearance does appeal... anyone denying that wud b lying.. but it being th sole criteria fr being in a relationship or ending it... nope... not true fr all.. in fact most of th guys.. barrin a few shallow ones...
And "how good id good enough" ... well... this cannot be described in words... its a feeling.. and you realize it whn u see that person... it cannot be expressed...
Don't be ovr critical of urself... and don't you dare think that th odds r nt in ur favour... you wud b so grossly mistakn if you think that way...!!
"But I'll accept that not all guys are like this, and thankfully so. And I totally agree that some girls fall in this category as well. Period. " - couldn't agree more...
PS - i feel the people who say that being single rocks... are th ones who are just trying to show that they r enjoying it... while they r looking fr that 'smeone special'...!!
PPPS - Don't forget to share your bournville...!! :P :D
justify!! no way :) m just trying to say that we are good enuf and so stop askin for justifications :P show traits of a girl and be kind and forgive us for our SMALL mistakes :P if anyone goes beyond the limits, dnt call him a man. MEN are GOOD, trust me :)
and the bournville is urs :)u earned it!! :P
Seriously, I mean, I couldn't agree more!! GUYS SUCK! They do. Most of em, anyway.
But, then, so do most of the girls I see.. they think wearing pretty shoes and scarves is all there is to being smart!
I seriously don't get it!
@ Mahesh. And I agree that not all are like this, but most are unfortunately.
One doubt...when you are talking about the second case, are you saying that they remain best friends or something else crops up between them ?
The former is irrelevant to the current discussion and in the latter, I'm pretty sure that once the relationship moves to the next level, so would the expectations.
Ah well. "Boys will be boys, no matter what they are." *Sigh*
@ Mahesh...Will be waiting for that post.
Cheers
oye..u look perfect in ur dp..if u gain sum pound..wont matter..
Nyway..Its always..better to b so called single..:P..
read again..so called single..I m not saying single :P :P
@ Tushar....your comment really got me thinking. And as much as I hate to admit it, I think girls are guilty too on certain points.
As for your second comment - :D.
But I'm still of the opinion that if one does not know how to broach a sensitive topic, one might as well not broach it at all.
P.S. Tikki at the rehri is anyday preferable to a date at a 5 star. I think most girls will vouch for that.
And wouldn't riding the bicycle be a bit cumbersome, specially when you've got someone a little bulky to tag along? ;) :P
Welcome to C'est La Vie and thanks for visiting and commenting.
Hope to see you around.
Cheers
@ nefariousoutlook - Agreed. Perhaps I'll write about that too some time.
And yes, the world is full of such people - lame.
Thank you so much for dropping by and commenting.
Keep visiting.
Cheers
@ Kartz - Apparently choices are not as good a thing as they are made out to be.
Perhaps having choices is not that bad, but making them sure sucks!
Good to see you after long.
Cheers
@ Karan - It's easier for you to say. You are not the one who has invested so much time, emotion, life in the other person.
You're damn right that there is no assurance of his loyalty in the future, but sadly it's not our opinion which matters here. I'm helpless as long as the girl involved does not share similar feelings. :(
I think I've stated it ample number of times. I'm NOT GENERALISING. God, are you huys guilty conscious or what ? :P
Well there's nothing called being"over" critical I believe. But whatever gave you the idea that I was being that? :O *scratches head*
And I wouldn't know whether they are or are not enjoying their singlehood, but just in case they aren't, they SHOULD! till someone comes and messes it all up. :D
Honestly speaking though, I think all singles do have moments where they pine for that someone special, but it'll be wrong to GENERALISE. :P
And Bournville mili hai nahi, pehle hi aa gaya hai apna hissa lene. Kuch nahi milega tumhe. :P
Cheers
@ Sawan - SMALL ? *Raised Eyebrow* :P
Why are all girls supposed to be kind and forgiving ? Why can't they be just mean and vengeful ?
Hmm, good idea. Wont call him that. :D
And Yay!!! for the Bournville. :)
Cheers
girls are supposed to be kind and forgiving cos they are the most wonderful species on earth, wut say? :P
@ Siya - Yay!! *High Five*
And ughhh!! Don't even get me started on them!!
And I SO don't even WANT to get it. :D
Cheers
@ Amrita - OMG !!! No, no, no!!! You're getting it all wrong!
I'm talking about a friend here and not myself. And for a change I'm not using that statement to disguise some of my own problem. :D
I'm so killing all my friends who tell me that I don't need to lose any weight. ;)
And so called single...he he. :P
Cheers
@ Sawan - So any girl who si not kind and forgiving is not wonderful ? *raised eyebrow*
This is turning out to be not one of my best days...first people think that I'm overweight and then someone suggests that I'm not wonderful. (Which I'm not, but still) ;)
Cheers
o m g.. now i am realizing that girls are really tough to understand.. i was trying to look for a compromise some wer and look how i damaged my words!! :( alrite let me put it like this:
u r a girl = u r kind [no mater what u think] = u luv the people u luv [confusing?] = u cud forgive [even if u think u cant] = u r wonderful. alrite? now dont mess this one.. i said U R WONDERFUL :)
@ Sawan - Lol. As long as the end result is that I AM wonderful. :)
I don't care about the derivation, correct or incorrect.
Cheers
:) wut a way to end such a "wonderful" discussion :P
So, let's put it this way.
You yourself said this right?
Girls, want, intelligence, personality, etc etc.
Guys, want, looks.
Then you also said that you understand that, yeah?
So then, if you understand that guys go _only for looks, then why is it hard to understand if a guy, despite his own bad looks, wants a super good looking girlfriend?
Now, if the girl he was going out with, was let's say a 6/10. Now, if she puts on weight and becomes a 3/10, then how can you expect a guy to remain attracted to that girl, considering that you already understand that all guys go for is looks?
Lesson? Guys don't just go for looks, we just give them more importance than most women do. If you keep that in mind and understand 'that', then of course, we cannot 'expect' our girlfriends to become all that or remain all that, etc..
In either case, the guy's own looks have nothing to do with how much of a douchebag he is. Even a Greek God looking guy? Even if he says that to a girl, he's still as much of a douche as a Paresh Rawal or Rahul Bose look-alike saying that to his girlfriend.
:P
@ Isha
See, the tikki and 5-star this is just an example to say that money is important to girls these days, as i wrote, intentionally or unintentionally.
As to talking about weight with women, well is their any man who really knows and is qualified enough to discuss weight with the ladies??? :-P :-D
*Sigh*
Thnks for the welcome btw. Me loving this place. Awesome blog
Someone really great once said If you are good-looking half your battle is won. Well he put the emphasize on the wrong part. He forget to tell you only half is won.
@ Unforgiven -
Is expecting your girlfriend/boyfriend to be loyal, when you have a roving eye, justified?
Is expecting him/her to be honest, when lying is way of life for you, justified?
If and ONLY if your answer to the above questions is in affirmative, I think I might understand even if a not-so-good-looking guy wants a hot babe for a girlfriend.
I do not expect that at all. And this only reinsates the very point I've tried to make.
And had you read the post carefully enough, you wouldn't have needed that long drawn analysis to arrive at the lesson you have, as that is exactly what the second sentence of the post states.
Hmmm, true. Lesson? ALL guys are douchebags ? :P
P.S. Rahul Bose looks just fine!!
@ Tushar - Right. A point I've already agreed to. :)
And after a LOT of careful thinking, the answer that I've arrived at is - NO. :D :P Lol
Thank you so much for all the comments.
Cheers
@ Careless Thinker - One of the comments that states more than the obvious and makes sense too. :)
Thanks for sharing.
Cheers
geez!! arent ur xams over yet?? update already!!..blogrolling u ;-)
aaaa seriously????
i mean why? what? how??? grrrr
i think i m traumatized.
i just cant take t he nonsense anymore.
why it keeps rbbing me in my face i m yet to find out.
but one thing is for sure.. the ultimatum is sickening and no one needs a bond based on a gun point!
@ Amith - When are they ever over ? :( :P
Thanks for the honour. :P
Cheers
@ Americanising Desi - Unfortunately, yeah, seriously.
And the feelings are mutual.
You bet it is.
hey bondgal : so much has already been said on "already" pampered topic.
However long we debate , i don't think there is any particular solution to this situation. Consider this "if wives try to maintain their "figure" , why? "
ans :for husbands.( i know many will differ)
#and no need to ask girlfriend to ask to lose weight, they are so conscious about each "pound"/"ounce" of their body.
hey, why to complicate their prob. (gals become so tensed about their weight)...once a cutie will remain a cutie.....slim or fat.......hehe ..but she has to be slim initially , my choice ;)
@ Neeraj - So much, yet so less.
Hmmm, that is true to some extent.
Totally.
Nice to know that. Hope you too fulfill all the expectations of your/would be girlfriend :P
Welcome to C'est La Vie. Hoping to see you around. :)
Thanks for visiting and commenting. :)
Cheers
** Perhaps having choices is not that bad, but making them sure sucks!
- Ha ha! Roger that... ;)
As they say, make a choice before it makes you!
Peace.
---
Back from another hiatus and I see you are away too?
Bonne chance!
Peace.
WOW... 65 comments...this has turnd out into a full on girls vs. guys thing... !!! i vl hv to take out one full day to read all th comments...!!! :P ...
yes i hv not invested so much time n evrything else in th relationship.. bt you know wht.. i think i do know how it feels whn one has to do wht i had said.. to end th relationship...it would be very very difficult n painful.. yes.. bt i feel its like ... you need to know when you should cut losses.. and move on... th longer one stays in th relationship.. more difficult it wud b... try convincing ur friend... coz when we r in any such relationship... th logic stops working... its fr friends and other well wishers to point it out to those who r in such relationships..
And let me make this clear...guys dont hv any guilt... at least i dont... it actually coesnt hv anything to do with guys.. it has to do with that particular individual.. guy or a girl... u must hv read my thoughts on this in my post calld 'Commitment'...
And yes you were being ovr critical... cynical.. sab theek hoga ... patience rakho... :)...
Singlehood.. i kno wht most of th singletons think... i aint generalizing... !! u copy cat.. copying my word...!!! :P
Chup Chaap Bournville share kar le.. nahin toh poori le lunga...!!! :P
@ Kartz - You are back from yours, I on the other hand am deep entrenched in it as of now. :(
Good to see you. :)
Cheers
@ Karan - tell me about it! The guys seem to have taken this post personally. :P :D
"when we are in such a relationship, logis does not work anymore...." hmmmm, kaafi suna suna hai :P mera gyaan mujhe hi haan !!?? and upar se copycat bhi label kar dia !! :P waah !
bournville ka na khayal bhi apne dimaag se nikaal do tum. :P
Cheers
oye ??!! guys seem to hv takn it personally ???!! excuse me... bt th crux of this post is guy bashing... obviously th guys had to defend themselves...!!!
n one more thing.. it takes two to tango... nt one..!!
n copy cat thing... look whoz talkin...!!! :P
gayi ab toh teri bournville...!!! :P
so agree!
before u expect the girl to be beside u, look in the mirror!
and yesh..like they say, when u grow old looks ka kya achaar dalega? :D
great space, jus droppin bye! :)
@ Rhea - tell me about it!!
"Looks ka kya achaar dalega?" Lol :D
Thanks for reading and commenting.
Hoping to see you around.:)
Cheers
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