C'est La Vie....

I saw Aisha. Finally. And it made me think. Yeah, a movie as inane as Aisha made me think. Now if you are over it, let's discuss the subject matter of my thoughts.

So this movie, like all stooopid chick-lit movies basically tries to tells you how incomplete, how lonesome, and how sad a woman is without the presence of a guy in her life.

True, with single hood come many insecurities, fears, and a fair amount of longingness on seeing happy couples around you...but that's all there is to it really.

With single hood, comes a lot of time for yourself, your interests, and your near and dear ones. I think it's the best times for girls who perennially find themselves in one relationship or the other to rediscover themselves.

Why is it that it is thought that a woman NEEDS a man in her life? Why can't a guy just be another character in the play that's her life? Someone, who if there, makes life a tad more fun but someone, if not there, will just be a happ/crappy (as applicable) memory.

Single women don't wake upe very morning wishing they had some guy to share their life with. Maybe women with no friends whatsoever do. But not the modern woman I know. Today's woman is capable of living her life alone. And mind youshe can not just live it but live it UP. Hell, we women don't even need you men to make babies now. Ha!

Here's to all the women I know. Single or not. Cheers! :)

P.S. Written on my cell on my way back from home, all the time stuck in heavy traffic. Feelings: to get out of the cab and get drenched in the rain dancing to the music playing on my cell. ALONE.

So I'm 23 now. As a teenager, I had always imagined myself to be this suave and sophisticated working lady who is quickly climbing the corporate ladder when I reach this age. The only true part of that sentence now is that I'm working. The rest is all missing. :D

Not that I'm complaining, really. Come on, how many of you really think that being mature and sophisticated is better than being immature and refusing to grow up?? Not me!!

6th Aug 2010 - the day when I turned 23 - started on a beautiful note with a small cake-cutting ceremony with my parents and bro. And of course the numerous phone calls from friends and family. Some expected, some unexpected, and some expected and not received. ;)

And then came the turn of my first b'day gift - from my kid bro - Raj Walia. Take a look.
http://www.facebook.com/notes/raj-walia/arial/473577617518
Thanks a tonne Kid bro!!!! You are the sweetest and the bestest. And an instant mood-uplifter. Glad to know you. :) :)

It was a friday, and hence the plans for the day were nothing huge. In the morning, my mom told me to get up early as it was my birthday and I was like err, how are the two even related! But not wanting to get into an argument early in the morning on my bday, I obliged. Then she tells me to clean my room as it was my bday and I go "Whoa!! This is getting weird." And then, to my utter surprise my school buddies - Mansi, Tata, and Rishi enter my room with a cake and flowers. In the morning at 8!!! On a weekday!!!! They have never done this, EVER!! It was a lovely surprise and I love you guys for this. You guys really did make my day. :)

Cut to office. The two maddest people I have come across - Rishi Kinra and Rishi Thakur - take out a rose each from their bags, bend down on their knees, and start singing a self-composed song dedicated to me. All this, RIGHT in the middle of the office!!! (I'm just so glad that I don't sit in the main office/barista zone anymore, where the numbe rof people is much higher). Oh yeah, the lyrics of the song >> "Chawla Chawla (to be sung in rap style), main ho gaya bawla bawla...." And I thought I'm the only one who sucks at poetry. :D :D
This was followed by receiving an actual bouquet of flowers for them and from my super cool friend at office - Vidushi. The third cake for the day was cut at lunch time with "Chawla Chawla" written on it.

Thanks a tonne guys. My day at office was a whole lotta fun all thanks to you. And yes Vids, you managed to get me excited for my own bday!! Yippee!!! Love you for that. :) :)

Cut to home. Again, no huge plans for the night as I had a french exam the next morning at 7.30. I had specifically told everyone that I won't be partying on 6th night. So I'm at home, facebooking a bit before I start studying. And the bell rings!! And it's my bachpan ki friend Hina - whom I haven't talked to in what seems like ages!!!!! And you know how it is when two old friends sit and talk right, the time flies. And that's just what happened. Before I knew it was 11.30 and we realized that it was late and she ought to be leaving. Thanks a tonne Hina for making the effort to come and visit. You added to making my special day a lot more special. :)

And the post cannot end without mentioning about the "sweet" post by awesome, once-in-a-lifetime buddy Karan. Thank you sooooooooooo much for the lovely gesture. :) :) :)

The day ended with me still on the phone receiving bday wishes. The festivities continued the next day too with me celebrating and cutting a fourth bday cake at French class. And ofc how can I forget the wonderful evening with Nilanjana. We girls should meet up more often Nil. And yeah, next time you'll do the talking in Punjabi. :P

Wow!!! I have so much to be thankful for!!! This is a nice feeling. Like really.

P.S. Aced the french exam with 94 marks. Topped. :)

>> Get a check on my temper. Needed urgently.
>> Get a screen guard for my cell.
>> Call up Annie, Sonali, Kartz, Arnab, and Raj or get killed by them all.
>> Study French for the exam on 7th.
>> Study some more French for the exam on 16th.
>> Learn to drive. Properly. Completely.
>> Teach bro french.
>> Write a concluding part for Love Works (earlier fiction post)
>> Finish reading 100 Years of Solitude so that I cab start reading A Thousand Splendid Suns
>> Learn to stay quiet. Sometimes. Lots of times, actually.
>> Take up Baldie's tags
>> Figure out why can't I see pics on my blog (anyone?)
>> Watch Aisha.
>> Download songs and images on my cell.
>> Stop posting completely inane things :D :D

As I dream my way through
The white sands of happiness,
The shinig star of friendship,
The nectar of true love,
The filling of my inner vacuum,
The puzzle of myriad choices,
The sweet sense of security,
The discovery of goodness,
The joy of solitude,
The robustness of eccentricites,
The absurdities of manner,

I never want to wake up,
For reality is a myth,
And I'm living (loving?) my dream

It seems ages since I last wrote any poetry or fiction....not too great..but for some strange reason, I am inspired (as well as a little demotivated! strange I know) today, so thought of posting this....

Everything is just SO weird right now...right from the song playing on TV to the thoughts in my head.

Two of my super cool friends at office left this week. :( :( And this is after two people I had befriended earlier, left too. Miss u sooo much Nilanjana!! :(
Now tto I'm just scared to make friends anymore!!

Arre finally a nice song on TV!! UFF teri ada from the movie Karthik Calling Karthik (such a waste of Farhan)...I just LOVE the song!!! But I still haven't danced to this song paagal-ly you know, like totally mad ho kar (outside home ofc).

Anyway, office is becoming gloomier by the day. Not just due to lack of (good) friends but also because of something else. I'm not too sure what it is, but it's just not the same anymore...

I Hate Luv Storeys ka gaana playing now....I still want to see this movie, despite the pathetic reviews. Wanna see Aisha too, looks promising.

I miss doing theatre. I so wish I could take it up for good, but what with the weird office hours (weird - I like this word and the way it sounds :)) and french classes on the weekend...there's hardly any time left for socialising with friends or family...

Hell!! I don't get time to post on my blog or read others' posts for that matter...tto theatre tto *sigh*

Shit yaa...kitna crib maarti hoon main...grrr....i was never like this...chalo kuch ache pe end karte hain....

*thinking*

*thinking*

*bulb jala!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Mujhe finally kaajal lagana aa gaya!!!! Yippee!!! :) :) *proud of myself and thankful to my b'ful cousins)

CONS:

1. No enjoying late night TV / movies on laptop
2. No sleeping for hours on end
3. No taking advantage of the sexy weather for a walk down a sexy road or a drive.
4. No talking loud / laughing hysterically / jumping aiwehi while walking
5. No daydreaming in front of the work station like we used to in front of the books (we are accountable for every hour after all :|)
6. No swearing...umm loud swearing at least ;)
7. No head-banging / singing aloud while listening to songs (Gosh! this is a hard one!)
8. No energy to talk to friends at night
9. No cool funky clothes to wear to office
10. No shouting
11. No access to the football / cricket matches
12. No walking naked feet in and out of the office
13. No frequent blogging
14. No being MYSELF!!

PROS:

Yeah right!! I can't think of any except that how you begin to appreciate the seemingly smaller joys of life. :|

Feel free to add to the list....

Tagged by "The STILL Bald Guy" (:P), here's a lowdown on the 9 top most things worn by Goofy alias me.


1. The 1200 watt issmile



2. My beaded necklace (which is around my neck all the freaking time!!)




3. My eyes a.k.a contact lenses



3. Mera fresh wala deo...dunno what I'd do without it



4. Bombay bangles.....Every time I wear these...I'm reminded of my AWESOME mumbai trip. :) :)



5. My daily office footwear...gosh! how I miss my floaters. :(



6. My school uniform!! (okay....I'm running outta things now!)



7. Mere vadde waale shades. :D





Aur ni hai!!! :( Only 7 things hain. Too bored to click more pics anyway. Take up as per your wish. :)

Dusk - that time of the day when light surrenders to the darkness around. When it's neither day nor night, quite like the much-talked about "grey".

The time when a husband, after a day's hard work, drives back home with the hopes of seeing his wife soon and enveloping her in his embrace.

The time when a wife frees herself from the household chores to get ready for her husband and lays out the dinner for him in anticipation of a great evening.

This is the time when I travel in my cab, (on some few lucky days) reminiscing about the day's events. Some bitter moments, some sweet, and some insanely irritating.

This is the time when random songs playing on the stereo make you go through a gamut of emotions.

Some make you smile despite yourself...and the cab driver looks up i the rear-view mirror wondering what's wrong with you.

Some make you lean your head against the car window and stare outside at the thousands of twinkling headlights. You see the traffic around you, but what you are looking at are random scenes from your life playing in front of your eyes.

And those of us who are lucky enough to have found their someone special inadvertently imagine their rosy future with them.

This is the time when you observe people around you - a group of young girls in an auto, all dressed up for a party; office people stuffed in a cab, glad to be on their way back home; the guy in the swanky car at the red light eyeing the light-eyed beauty in the bus and what not.

This is the time when I sit in my cab and switch off my cell to write this inane post.

Audrey's dead.
Don't try to wake her up.
She's still crying
The songs of tomorrow,
Which when she was alive
She used to sing out aloud,
But now she sings in silence.
I want to live,
She cried in my ears,
The echo still fills my mind.
I want to love,
She pleaded through her eyes,
I can still see them burning.
But my heart's burning too.
She used to be my light,
I used to be her shadow.
We used to walk together,
In the valleys of pain and tears.
She could not take it any longer.
Me neither.
Audreys' dead.
I am dead.

God it's been long!!! Apologies to all the super cool people in Blogsville whose posts I have not been able to read for the past month or so!!! I'm really really hoping to catch up on your blogs soon!!

I have no idea where this post is going. The Bald Guy asked me to blog and here I am. I'm sorry though Baldie, I just did not feel like taking up a tag right now.

So in case you are on of those who are not on my FB friend list and are wondering where did I get lost, well, it's my job (bonded labour) that's been keeping me busy of late. Weekends, did someone say? Well, weekends I get up even earlier than weekdays to go for my early morning French classes. And then it's all really just a blur.

Oh ya!! Today there was a shooting being held near our institute. Some movie tentatively titled "Who Killed Jessica" / "System". It apparently stars Rani Mukherjee and Vidya Balan. We were coaxed into being present for a scene as journos. It was humongously irritating!!!

Movie - making is a tough task. I mean, we go into a theatre and watch a movie for three hours and sometimes even those three hours seem a burden. And here these guys shoot a one minute scene in two hours!!! I got so fed up that I ran, yes, I actually RAN away from that place when the location of the scene was to change from one room to the other.

Btw have you ever noticed that words which till some years back were thought of as abuses or swear words have now become words of endearment? Strange,no?

Anyway, The Bald Guy sent a beautiful sms today, which just has to be shared with the world at large. It goes:

I'm a lonely road of broken dreams
It's a boulevard I'm searching for.

These stars are all so dull
It's the moon that I'm searching for

Happiness is so angry at me
It's life that I'm searching for.

There is a crowd around me all the time
It's a friend I'm searching for.

My life is like a path
It's a destination I'm searching for.

Don't know what it is that I've lost
Maybe it is "ME" that I'm searching for......

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think a lot of you will be able to identify with this. I was!!!

P.S. Sorry for the lame title. Couldn't think of anything. :D

HER
Call me crazy if you want to, but Aditya is all that I have in my mind right now!! It's like I'm back in eighth standard all over again!!! He comes to my table at looks at all those agonisingly boring excel worksheets and I have a super hard time trying to focus on what he's saying!!! If this continues, he'll soon start thinking of me as one of those dumb girls. :|

HIM
I'm so messed up. It's like Mansi is all that I look forward to in office. I go up to her desk every now and then and man does she smell awesome!! Now who can concentrate on work when you have got such an intoxicating smell emanating from two centimeters of your face. I could not even explain her properly what was to be done. No wonder she was looking so lost.


HER
Aditya changed his desk!! He's now only two desks away from where I sit!! And I can totally see him ALL the time!!! This is sure to increase the work productivity. So says our manager. :)
Yayieeee!!!!

HIM
So I have moved closer to Mansi's desk. On the pretext of working in a more well co-ordinated manner of course. I hope I'm not becoming too obvious. Wouldn't wanna come across as one of those over eager types....


HER
So!! The good news is that we have lunch together now!! Yeah baby!! That's like bonus time for me!! And of course, I get to know more about him from others....which is always helpful. :)

HIM
At lunch today, my colleagues asked me the reason for changing my seat! And that too in front of Mansi!! Yeah, she has lunch with us. :) Hopefully this will help break the barrier of the power equation.


HER
This is weird....like really weird. Even though it's now been some 3 days that I go for lunch with Aditya, it seems that I'm always tongue-tied in front of him! I mean, this is unnatural of me!! Very very unnatural!! I don't have anything to contribute, no witty remarks to make, no sarcasm in my speech when otherwise I'm brimming with all these things!

And somehow I just don't seem to be able to get his attention. Like, at all!!! Which sucks!! I have never, never had to try to get anyone's attention, EVER!! But this guy seems made of stone!! Maybe he does have someone in his life for whom he is very serious......

HIM
I'm playing it a little slow as I really did not want to scare her off. But it seems that she is least interested. She hardly speaks when we break for lunch, does not eat anything that I offer and is awfully lost, especially when I'm speaking!

Even if she is this shy naturally, I don't see things working out for us. I mean, I'm the shy and quiet one. If she's like this too, I wonder what'll happen! Maybe this was never a good idea.....

HER
Second day at my brand new job. Got introduced to my associate - my senior I'll be working with on a project. Seems sweet. But who knows!! They're all sweet in the beginning isn't it?? Anyway, I don't like this office. It's seems so mechanical. People, things, processes...everything!! And the long hours!! And NO cute/hot guys. :( :( God!! Help me survive!!

HIM
New employee in the office today. Finally I get some much needed help on the project. Seemed okay. I just hope she knows her stuff. I don't want to be training around a new joinee. I really don't have the time!!



HER
Spent most of the day working with Aditya. My associate. He's a cute guy! And he's got a real cute smile!! Well...what?? That's it!! JUST a cute smile!! Geez!! Can't I even appreciate someone's smile??

HIM
Spent most of the day working with the new girl at office. Mansi (her name), has got a BEAUTIFUL smile!!! Uhhhh, am I falling for my junior??? Shit!! No!!! She's my colleague for God's sake!! I need to get a grip on myself!!! God!!



HER
Alright, so I just realised something. In the morning everyone looks like a fresh flower petal in the morning but by the time it is evening people start resembling a papad. And when I was introduced to Aditya the day before, it was evening.

So you can imagine my surprise when he came over to my desk first thing today morning looking all cute-sy cute-sy!!! And Godddddddddddddd THAT smile!!!! *sigh* Anyway, so he was standing right in front of me - smiling. And I wondered what the heck is wrong with him. I mean, alright, it's the start of a great sunny day et al but why beam at me!?

And it was then that realisation dawned on me!!! That smile was a mere polite reciprocation of the IDIOTIC WIDE GRIN pasted on my face!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ughhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

I have a crush on my boss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No!!! No!!!! Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! who has a crush on their boss!!!!!!!!!

I'm doomed!!! I'm soooooooooooo doomed!!!!!!!!!!!!

HIM
I went up to her desk first thing in the morning! And I have no idea why!! And I was smiling like an idiot!! I must have looked like such a fool!!! Anyway, tried to make conversation with her too during the course of the day. Damn! I wish I had a little, okay, a LOT more experience in this. :(



HER
Okay!!! So I did some research on Aditya today. He's apparently from IIT!! *impressed* And he is an under 19 TT champ!! And he sings!!!! (OMG!!!!) And plays the keyboard too!!!!!!!!!!!! And he is a great photographer as well!!!!

*sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

*wants to stay in my dream world where he sings, I dance, he photgraphs, I model.*

Oh shit!! He's real cool....would he be single??? and even if he is, why in the world will he like me???? Gosh!! Why didn't I think of this earlier???

HIM
So I got to know a little about Mansi from another colleague - a friend of hers!!! She writes!!! How cool is that!! And her favourite book is Fountainhead!!! And she is a state level basket ball player!! Wow!!! And she seems to have a penchant for dancing!!

I wonder if she's single....I couldn't get any info on that. I mean, who is single these days anymore? And if you're someone like her, the chances are even bleaker. :(



To be (maybe) continued......

1. What is your current obsession?
To lose weight!! :( :( (Though I'm not doing anything constructive towards attaining it. What?? Do you have any idea how chilly it is right now??? :|)

2. What are you wearing today?
Clothes like yesterday and the day before that and the one before that and.....

3. What’s for dinner?
Whatever it was, is in my tummy right now. :D

4. What’s the last thing you bought?
Two Orbit chewing gums.

5. What are you listening to right now?
Mom and Dad's conversation about my (supposedly)new developed lack in studies. (When it was right there throughout!!)

6. What do you think about the person who tagged you?
He seems to be a real cool guy. AND he COOKS!!! *impressed* :P

7. If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
Anywhere would do fine as long as I'm close to my near and dear ones. (Though Venice/Rome/New Zealand/Scotland would be nice)

8. What are your must-have pieces for summer?
A piece of watermelon, 2 of mango, some pieces of apple and throw in a couple of pieces of cake too. :D

9. If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
Stay right where I'm in my cozy razai.

10. Which language do you want to learn?
Loads - Bengali, Marathi, Urdu, Spanish and brush up my French a bit.

Dear Diary, [Wednesday, 5/5/05]

So I've been tagged, by Netika. And it's a tough one, for me at least. Talking is the love of my life and what better than to talk about myself! So there is hardly anything that people don't know about me. But the sweet heart that she is, I just had to oblige her. :) So here goes my attempt.

As I'm writing this post on the very last day of 2009, trying to analyse whether this has been a good or bad year, all I can say is that it has been a tough year. Fulfulling in some ways and not so fulfilling in many more ways. Humans are not an easy species to be satisfied you see.