C'est La Vie....

Remember the time when the joy of racing was not in winning but in going through it

When we would do things not because we were supposed to do them but because we wanted to

When speaking your mind was still in fashion and sexual politics was still a literary word

When we believed that we could snatch the stars from the sky and keep them as a decoration on our study table

Was it really such a long time ago? Can we not go back to feeling and being like that?

Like we get out houses renovated, can we not repair and renovate our spirits?

Can our souls not be like the clean shaven head - devoid of burdens and not afraid to disclose its vulnerability

Can’t we just BE?

Expectation was rife. Exaltation expected. Ebullience anticipated. The night was contained in the magnanimity of space.

Everything is a sham.

Afraid of the light.

Her dad being painstakingly punctual, punctuality had been ingrained in the little girl too.

Recently someone asked me "How long does it take for one to realize that he/she is in love?" I tried to answer though I too wasn't sure of it myself.

Disclaimer: These observations are my observations and are thus limited to my knowledge of my world and can / should not be generalized. They may / may not be true for the entire population at large but they hold true as far as my knowledge is concerned

1. Girls can get jealous / insecure with other girls they don't even know for no reason at all. A slight glance by their boyfriend at another girl, the mere mention of another girl's name in a conversation with her guy (more so if she is someone hitherto absent from his life), the slightest appreciation of another girl by her boyfriend, the slightest appreciation of that girl by another friend (!!), can all be sources of this irrational jealousy.

2. Autowallahs ask double the fare when you are all dressed up and everything as opposed to the normal exorbitantly high fare that they ask for otherwise when you are plainly dressed. On these special occasions they finally settle for one and a half times the original high fare.

3. Naukri and chokri are not just two similar sounding words. There's much more in common between the two:

>> You keep thinking that you deserve something (someone) much better but do not make any efforts to move on, as you are extremely comfortable in/with the current one and are scared of whether or not the next one will even be worth it

>> You have this constant feeling that your efforts are not even noticed, let alone appreciated

>> Your guards go up at the very instant of a new entrant in the scene and consider him/her as competition

>> No matter how much you crib about it/her, how much you think it/her makes your life miserable, it all becomes 'worth it' at the end of the month when you receive your salary/when you receive that one hug, one kiss from her



P.S. I suddenly get this feeling that this post should have been titled "Similarities between naukri and chokri" :D

Haven't blogged in a long long while + Remembered seeing this tag on a couple of blogs + Easy day at office = The following:

If I were a month of the year, I'd be January - eagerly awaited for by everyone, bringing with it new promises and new hopes

If I were a day of the week, I'd be Friday - the perfect mix of work and party ;)

If I were a time of the day, I'd be dusk - that time of the day when light surrenders to the darkness around. When it's neither day nor night, quite like the much-talked about "grey".

If I were a season of the year, I'd be monsoon - the awesome-est, craziest, and most romantic season ever!!!

If I were an animal, I'd be a lioness - "For her greater strength and fierceness, the lioness is more feared by the hunter than the lion…If necessary she can become a warrior." – Abdu'l-Bahá

If I were a virtue, I'd be tenacity - not one to let go of things, beliefs, and people or be discouraged easily

If I were a planet, I'd be Venus - hot, volatile, and mysterious

If I were a liquid, I'd be Champagne - classy, bubbly, and heady ;)

If I were a gem, I'd be a pearl - pure, innocent, and honest. Not too shiny or over-offensive.

If I were a bird, I'd be a sparrow - common to the world, yet missed by those who love its chehchahat (that was tough to spell!!)

If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a violin - having an unlimited range of sounds and arguably the most difficult string instrument to play

If I were a feeling, I'd be be hope - the feeling that'll come rushing to you even when you have nothing else left

If I were a sound, I'd be the sound of joyful laughter - bringing happiness to those laughing as well as those seeing/listening

If I were a song, I'd be Panga Na Le (from Makdee) - crazy, nonsensical, yet cute and happy :tha)
(As an after thought, maybe Aali Re from No One Killed Jessica - on the basis of what others think)

If I were a city, I'd be Delhi - loud, brash, unpredictable, full-of-life, and warm - all at the same time ;)

If I were a taste, I'd be spicy - hotness that'll leave you singed ;)

If I were a color, I'd be white - the color that reflects all others

If I were a body part, I'd be the eyes - silently seeing everything and speaking only to those who understand them.....

If I were a facial expression, I'd be a sunshine smile - the perfect ice-breaker

If I were a cartoon, I'd be Goofy - the name explains it all ;)

If I were a car, I'd be a yellow Lamborghini Gallardo - extreme!


P.S. Had thought of putting up pics with this one, but stooopid blogger has a 1
MB limit. :\

The town enveloped in a sheet of serene white...the clouds so dense that they have hidden the mighty Himalayas behind them....snow falling continuously like tufts of cotton on the already white ground....couples walking around, cuddled under colorful umbrellas....my first snow fall :)....like someone said that its something that one never forgets :)

As I browse through some pictures on the Internet, thoughts whirr in and out of my mind. The mountains in the pics, the brown-earthed valley dotted with green; coupled with the lazy afternoon sun peeping in, yet playing peek-a-boo with my chocolate coloured curtains, do more than just calm my not-so-calm mind. The kaleidoscope of rich tones only sets alight a blaze of yet more thoughts.

Dreams are not ones to recede quietly into the background; they emerge and re-emerge every time the mand goes off on a short adventure. They are like those little peaks that exist but you never knew they existed till you climbed one and saw eternity almost vanishing into itself.

Sometimes I wish I were not sitting here saddled by technology and I wish it was just the guzzling waters of a river tucked far away in some fruit orchard that trickled life into me, like the dream that whir past on lazy afternoons. Sometimes I wish it was just the cacophony of grasshoppers and frogs singing soulfully to the first rains on a heavy night. And as they soak in it, that would be music to my ears. Sometimes I wish it was the tinkle in the laughter of the children that signified the time of the day as I sat in a corner brewing coffee and listening to the womenfolk share their tales. Sometimes, I wish I could walk through my dreamscapes and hold the slow flowing bubbles of reality in my hand as they bobbed up and down, collided with each other, and tottered around like a bunch of fairies on their first outing.

Sometimes I wish I owned a palatial, ancestral home tucked far inside the greens of the Kerala countryside. I would sit on a wicker chair in the verandah, overlooking the trees and the river flowing through the orchard, sipping hot tea. Mornings would be just a haze of sights, smells, and sounds....the freshly-watered rusty earth, the jasmine being strung together by toothy old women sitting in the courtyard laughing and sharing stories about the antics of their grandchildren, the steaming idlis permeating the air with a warmth that can be both felt and tasted. And as the afternoon sun would peep into the warm, mahogany-laden dining room I would traverse miles and miles, all the while lying cosily under pristine, white sheets, letting the coconut trees sweep coolness into my room, and finally awaking with a song on my lips. As the day would draw to a close, I would find comfort in the honey dripping off the branches of the immodestly green mango trees laden with plump yellow fruits. I would count the bursting jackfruits, sucking mindlessly on tamarind strewn around carelessly by the wind. And when the inky blue skies would descend, I would return to a night of sloth and Jim Reevs singing in sync with the croaking frogs and the barking wild dogs.

Sometimes I wish it was a tiny, cozy cottage tucked far away in an obscure hill-station that I could call home. I would own a little shop next door selling knick-knacks, home-made chocolate, and bread. The red door of the shop with its bronze bell and chimes sould sing a mellow song every time someone would walk in through it. Children would be running through this door to buy candy and big yellow lollipops that I had made and kept in big, glass jars on a high shelf behind the counter. Women would walk in, eyeing this city-girl humming Norah Jones. I would welcome them with a warm cup of coffee every time they walked in bringing with them a cold gust of wind to this little shop warmed by a baked brick firepace. I would listen to their woes and the occasional snippets they would allow me with soem trepidation while serving them freshly soft bread everyday. Their husbands would eye me with suspicion yet wonder what a girl like me was doing in a town like this. My golden comma of a cat would purr with sloth every time I would cuddle it in my arms. And after the children would have had their day's share of peppermint flavored candy and the women would have bought the spices lying in sacks at a corner in the shop, I would pull down the blinds and make my way to the sweet, incense-filled cottage of mine for a night of knitting and some reading. And when the local doctor would come knocking at the door to ask me out for a cup of coffee, I would bat my eyelids and say, "I brew my own."

And when reality tiptoes to the doors of my mind and knocks surreptitiously, I pull the door wide open, embrace it with warmth and quote Pico Iyer - "The best trips, like the best love affairs, never really end."

There's a man in my life, much older than me....and married! But this didn't stand in the way of his love for me. I have been the most important person in his life or so I have loved to think. He always has time for me, not once in all the years did he ever say he was too busy for me. He was always there for me and me ready to drink in his words, his stories, and his dreams - which were mostly his dreams of what he wished for me.

Now, as I look back, I don't know how I first became aware of him. But I certainly know how the relationship started - he told me about it several times. It was one of those love-at-first sight stuff, though I doubt that I really noticed him the first time. But later, I did notice him: I had to, as events outside our control threw us together in such a way that there was no way I could have ignored him. Not that I wanted to.

He loomed large in my life, and everything and everyone else, faded in the background. I may not recall how it really started but I do remember the many hours we spent together on many a moonlit night.

My entire life - with its twists and turns, its joys and frustrations, warts and all - daily reminds me of him. He spent most of the time we knew each other introducing me to the world which he said one day would be mine. And today, I am what I am because one man loved me, believed in me, and gave me a dream to pursue and to tell you guys, even his wife and I are on good terms, but that's a different story.

I owe my life to this one man who truly and deeply loved me. In a way, he gave life to me and sustained it with utmost care. He also gave me words that I lived by these past years and am using today amidst all of you.

My life is still a work-in-progress and I hope that I'm able to live up to this man's dreams and prayers for my life. I would just end up now I think, by saying - THANK YOU DAD, for everything! :)

HER:

Booze and conversation flowed effortlessly between the two of us. Alcohol has some good side effects! ;) Aditya actually turned out to be a lotta fun and amazingly witty too. During the course of our conversation he let slip that he might be leaving the firm soon. When he got up to receive a call for the fifth time in about an hour, I quizzed him if it was his girlfriend. He shook his head to indicate that I was wrong and told me he’s never had a girlfriend. “And I don’t think anyone will ever like me,” he added. He just gave a sarcastic kinda smile on my asking him what made him feel so. And in an instant of extreme stupidity, which I justified by thinking that what the heck, he’ll be leaving soon anyway; I told him!

I told him that I had had a CRUSH on him!! I told my EX-BOSS that I had a crush on him!!



HIM:

“Please let this NOT be a dream! Please let this NOT be a dream!”, I kept repeating in my head. Mansi confessed that she had a CRUSH on me!! MY crush had a crush on ME!! I was doing a mental Joey dance!!!!

And that was it! I went ahead and told her how I have had a crush on her since the moment I first saw her in the office. How every time she smiled I lost focus of whatever it was that I was doing. How I had been yearning to be at least friends with her since forever now. Just letting all of it out made me feel so light!

The alcohol had worn off by now. An awkward silence later, I ventured, “Let’s get outta here.”

“I’d like that.”



HER:

I could not believe what had just transpired….ADITYA had a crush on ME!!!! I mean what the hell!!! How lame could he be!! He does not give ONE teeny weeny hint all this time and today he decides to let his feelings overflow????!!!! Guys I tell you!!! Anyway, we headed out for a drive, since the atmosphere had suddenly become too much to take. Once in the car, silence made an entry again. Looking out the car’s window from the DND flyway, Delhi looked its beautiful best, all dressed up in shiny lights. I asked the question that had been bothering me for the past half hour. “Why didn’t you say anything all this while, Aditya?” And he gave me his incredulous smile saying, “Are you kidding me!? You with all your confidence and popularity had me intimidated to death!” “You are mad Aditya. Really!”, I laughed it off. I was switching on the stereo for some music when our hands brushed against each other, and lingered. We gazed into each other’s eyes for a moment before I withdrew it and wondered out aloud “This is going to be weird….”
“Let’s talk this over ice-cream?”, he suggested, focusing on the road once again.



HIM:

We drove to India Gate in the middle of the night for an ice-cream. I got her a chocolate chip knowing that it was her favorite. She always took that flavor on all team outings. The quiet of the night helped us in clearing our heads. I asked her if she was ready for this - a relationship in the office. She seemed wary about it, considering that I was her boss. I assured her that I wouldn’t remain that for long and that made her worry even more. After a long discussion, the two of us decided that we’ll give this a shot and see how things go.

She suddenly realized that I had not got ice-cream for myself and asked if I’d like to have some of hers. And without waiting for my answer, she thrust the cone in my face!!! I ran after her to do a repeat performance with whatever little of what was left of it and managed to catch her in under 30 seconds. Grabbing her arms, I was ready to give the final blow, when a local policeman appeared out of nowhere reprimanding us of creating unnecessary “hullah” and telling us to leave right away. Laughing, we got back in the car and I dropped her off to her place.

On my way back, with the sound of her cackling laughter still ringing in my ears, I realized I had just lived the happiest moments of my life till now.



- * - * - * - * - *Epilogue* - * - * - * - *


Six months later


HER:

Lunch break finally! You’d think that a year down in the office, things would get easier but FAR from it. The work pressure just keeps increasing!!! Gah!!!! And if that wasn’t enough, Adi is there to constantly remind me of his presence through whatever means he can, phone calls; texts; emails and the likes! I think I was too harsh on him in the last mail…poor guy didn’t deserve it. I should make it up to him. Did I tell you what a sweet heart he is? ;)



HIM:

At times college is really interesting and challenging, but it is at these times when I feel if IIM was really worth it. Maanu also seems pissed off…not replying to messages properly. :(

This teacher is going on and on about behavioral ethics in an organization. Wait! Did she just say ‘refrain from getting involved in personal relationships at office’…oh! She messaged! :) Here’s what she wrote:

“Hey sweets!! I’m sooo sawie for that last mail. Lottsa work pressure. :( Have just broken for lunch. Graduate soon and open your own company na. I’ll work for you. FREE! Or you can pay me in kind if you like. ;) Gimme a call when you are over with the class, I’ll catch up. :) Love”

Well, what does this teacher know; for me, ‘Love Work(ed)’. :D




Author's note: Constructive criticism will be much appreciated.

Click here to read the first two parts of Adiya's and Mansi's twisted professional love lives - Love Work(s) and Love Work(s) - II.


HER
It’s amazing how spending just a couple of months at a new place can change so many things – you, people around you, your equations with them, your views, and perceptions. I’m finally settled in my office and have more than got a hang of my work. My managers love me and so do my friends there. Life as I know it, has never been better. Yes, I keep terribly busy, but then that’s the way I prefer it to be. But I promise to be more regular in writing this journal. Some things you just have to find the time for. :)

P.S. Read the last entry and was ROFLING! Aditya!! Gosh! He’s a typical IITian…work, work, and work is all that interests him. He wasn’t that bad a boss though. Yeah, I don’t work under him anymore. And thank God for that! Helped a zillion in getting over him. ;)


HIM
Life – God’s most beautiful gift? I beg to differ please!! Work has been driving me crazy off late. And whatever little time that is left is spent preparing for the CAT. I have to nail it this time, else my only option will be GMAT. Not a very feasible option, considering the financial constraints. Moreover, India is where heart is. Though matters of the heart are something in which I have been unlucky consistently. Mansi was de-staffed from my project a couple of months back. The only words that we exchange now are hey/hi in the corridors. Yet that smile never fails to make me skip a heart-beat. Apparently, she is not as shy as I had presumed her to be. She seems to be very popular around everyone. Adds to my woes all the more. Clearly she didn’t find me good enough to even have a decent conversation with. I just want to get out of all of this asap. :\


HER
Aditya really is weird. I greet him with an enthusiastic ‘hi!’ and all he does is give a weird stare. Don’t know what’s that all about! Anyway, guess what!!?? I have my first office party the next week!!! I’m sooo excited !!! I have only heard/read about office parties thus far! Can’t wait to actually be a part of one of them!!! Yippeeee!!!! Gosh!! So much to do, so much to figure out…..!!!!


HIM
Office party next week. Could very well be my last party here. Kinda undecided on whether I’ll go or not. Should be devouring my books right now. Though I could definitely do with a break! Let’s see…..


HER
Strange, strange, STRANGE night. It was all going well. I was having a ball with my friends. Talking, dancing, being crazy, and what not. And suddenly, out of nowhere Aditya joins us to dance. Not too good a dancer, he was kinda fun to dance with. Super tired, I took a break to catch my breath. Two minutes later, he joined me. “You dance really well”, he said. “Thanks! Wish I could say the same about you”, said I, before I could realize it was my senior at office I was talking to.

Yes, this was how it all started…..


HIM
“Drink?”
“Sure. Vodka with orange juice.”

I couldn’t believe my luck that the two of us were actually talking to each other as regular people! And not as some have-to-bear-each-other kind of colleagues!! :)

Little was I to know of what was coming……

We live in such a mechanical world nowadays that sometimes it becomes necessary to just stop, take a break, and appreciate the smaller things in life....

Today morning (meaning the morning of the day when I wrote this post in my cell drafts), I was all ready for another gruelling day at office, waiting for my cab (which had been delayed due to the city's pitiable traffic situation) and I happened to come across various genres of movies playing on different channels...and I was amazed to realize the human mind's capacity to feels so many emotions that soemtimes even words cannot convey the EXACT feeling that we may be experiencing....

Think of it...you can be MADDENINGLY happy....like when you crack the college of your dreams! Or get your dream job...or you can be just plain normal happy that you have had a good day at school/college/work

You can be devastated if God forbid, a close one is no more...sad that you didn't get that promotion you had been hoping for

Furious that a trusted one lied to you....angry over a stupid fight with a friend

Irritated with the guy behind you in the traffic jam who's constantly honking...pissed when someone is overtly obstinate

Scared to death when your dad catches you doing something you shouldn't be doing

Proud when you see your work being appreciated

Disgusted when someone spits on the road

Curious when you know a friend has some juicy gossip for you

Excited when you are taking your first trip with friends

Lonesome when you are missing someone badly

Compassionate when you see someone dealing with the hardships of life bravely

Thankful when you realise that you are lucky to have the life that you do

Jealous when someone beats you at what you thought you were the best

Nervous before giving your first interview

Relaxed after it goes surprisinglt well

Embarrassed after you have just managed to drop a mannequin in a huge departmental store

Ashamed when you realise you have hurt someone

Regret when you realise what you did was not only stupid but wrong

Tired with dealing with life and its unending problems

Amazed at how a two year old can be addicted to smoking

Surprised on how much you can write on a nonsense topic :D :D