( A dark, dingy room. The curtains are drawn. She sits on the desk in one corner, pen in hand. There is a certain repose in her motion, in her language. Paper strewn all over the floor. The bin in the other corner is overflowing. She begins to write.)
ATTEMPT I
SHE: This one is for me. This is my final expression bereaved of brevity yet not excruciatingly elaborate. I struggle to tread middle ground. I shield my face against the warmth of the golden rays, the sparrows serenading my being, the azure sky infinite yet in my outstretched arms, the foliage brilliant in its hue, the verdant landscape thus. In spite of me, it puts a smile on my face, a twinkle in my eyes. I look into the stream, hopes mellow and thoughts benign are reflected.
If only I could shield myself against the atrocities of my lot, the phantom of my dreams shattered, deafening me with that stilled silence, the void infinite yet so tangible in my outstretched arms, the insecurities magnificent in their hue, the broken spirit thus. In spite of me I clutch the pen and start writing my final expression...bereaved of brevity yet not excruciatingly elaborate.
Who am I kidding? When did I ever tread middle ground?
(She crumples the paper into a ball, aims for the bin......and misses. an exasperated ejaculation.)
ATTEMPT II
SHE: This one is for you. It is ironic when the reason to live gets engaged in the excuse to not. You wage a war against yourself to triumph over your incoherence, you claw at that elusive lucidity and meet with failure. So final, so motionless. Yet in my confusion, I found a purpose. You. I found a purpose to breathe, to infuse into your very being my life, my urgency. To caress your hopes, to nurture your love, to possess your anxieties, your apprehensions and trample over them, to hold your fears in my arms and hurl them into oblivion. I strive to be one body, one soul, one unified equation challenging the very fundamentals of this frenzy surrounding you and me, and it is a chimerical concoction,a blow so hard it leaves me breathless.
Leaves me breathless.
(This one she doesn't crumple. She reads it, re-reads it. A solitary tear starts to trickle down her cheek, hanging suspended from her chin for a moment too long. She wipes it away with a latent, passive ire.)
ATTEMPT III
SHE: This one is for everyone who loved me sometime, somewhere.
If I am accountable, if I'm responsible for leaving you with memories and nothing more, for permeating your life, establishing bonds and then fleeing in such haste, for the insidious effect of the hatred generated in you due to this decision of mine......I apologise in earnest. If I have any claims I urge you to abnegate those memories, to renounce those fragile bonds, to abdicate the domain of wrath, of negatives......I urge you in earnest.
Because I loved you not long, not enough, not forever.
But you can love me long, love me enough, love me forever.....
(She burrows her head in her arms, seeking solace from the intimacy of her own body. she lifts her head, stares unblinkingly at the photograph of her family on the table, picks the paper up without looking away and tears it to shreds.)
ATTEMPT IV
To whomsoever it may concern.
I am ending my life, no one is to be held responsible.
I am ending my life, no one is to be held responsible.
God bless.
(An inadvertent smile escapes her lips. she embraces the heavy air hanging all around her and quotes Oscar Wilde out loud, "Simple pleasures are but the last refuge of the complicated.")
The last refuge.
The End.
53 comments :
THE END!
THE END?
NO WAY!
WAHOOOOOOO WHAT DID YOU EAT?
OR RATHER WHAT DO YOU EAT?
woman you have the power to move mountains!
my God your comeback post is one hell of a post!
and I have to salute you for it!
It has sadness but there is a mock and I couldnt stop having the smile. it is funny i cant decribe it.
but i loved it!
Loads of calorie-laden food. :P Up for it?? :P :D
Ah! The joy of making sommeone go speechless. And that too someone like you. lol
Thank you soooo much. You mame me want myself to write more. :)
Cheers
* make
my favourite among these are attempt2. kind of relate to it , the confusion, the uneasiness...
best expression...She crumples the paper into a ball, aims for the bin......and misses. an exasperated ejaculation.....ahhh ;;)
every author has certain fav words, is permeating your fav word, i have seen u using it in quite a lot of your posts :)
you should write more...!
love,
Amit
PS: Yeh pic wali bike mujhe de de chaawala ;)
Ah! Attempt 2? Pity you can relate to it.
I know. *sigh* ;)
I have LOTS of favourite words, but permeating is not one of 'em. Coincidence perhaps. *shrug*
In my exams na?? That's what my folks keep telling me. :P :D
And bike kya karega? I'll give you a ride on it. Mere peeche baith jaaio k? :P :D
Cheers
apne muscles to dekh, stand par se utha bhi nahin payegi bike....
jaa jakar thoda custard khakar aa :P
Dikhaawe pe mat jaao, apni akal lagao.
And agar aur custard khaya na tto bhains ho jaungi. Bhains ke sath bike pe baithega? :P
lol, aye hain meri gori bhains, mar jawa gud kha ke :P
did you ever hear the word 'speechless'??
you did, huh?
good!
'cause thats what I am!!
hugs
@ HRA - Us gud mein zehar mila hua hai kya?? :P
@ Mystish - Awwwwww. :) :) :)
Thenkew!! :)
*Hugs back*
You indeed write well
Thank you. :)
When do we get to read the details of your adventure? :P
zeher mila kar gud khaya aur mein mar gaya, to tere sath bike par kaun baithega meri cute little gori bheins :P
uffff ladki!!! u always leave me with a a whole lot of thoughts... do i even need to say ur brilliant!!!
*loud applause*
luv,
Annie.
Earlier Silence and then Suicide being explored masterfully :). Macdeath :) The title goes very well with the post but the profile picture doesn't :).
All the attempts were brilliant, and the way they lead to the last one looked "eventual" in the end.
Well done :).
@ HRA - Underestimate mat kar mujhe, line lagi padi hai ladkon ki just for that one ride with me. :P :D
@ Annie - I won't mind being reminded of it every now and then. :P :D
*Bows to the applause*
Cheers
mein tujhe underestimate nahin over estimate kar raha tha...grt noida ke doodh walo ke line ki baat nahin kar rahe hai hum yahan par :P
@ Brown Phantom - I love the title too!! :D
Ah! Yes, I need to keep the balance right? Hence, the contrast. ;)
Thanks for the appreciation. :)
Cheers
@ HRA - MY POINT EXACTLY. :P
We are talking about the cool dudes and hot men of the city here. City referring to saadi Dilli. :P
point rejected...in the previous comment, you just mentioned about the line, not the city, so by logical deduction, your analogy is a faulty one! :D Better luck next time ;)
Yeah, sorry for assuming that I'm talking to a sane rational human being who would understand certain obvious things without me having to state them explicitly.
Yes, if that's the way you would be not using your pea-sized brain when replying to comments, I would need all the luck in the world. :D
are oh MBA guru, saare assignments copy karthi hain kya :P first rule of making any MBA assignment is to start the assumptions even if they are obvious, rational or not.
you need all the luck in the world in any case, good luck!
Amit
Tu finance specialist hai aur main marketing. Marketing mein we assume the consumers to be rational human beings. And btw so do we in Economics.
Assumptions are for those who are from a non commerce background i.e who read dr(debit) as doctor and cr(credit) as compounder. :P
And HRA, hum vo hain jo apna luck apni jabe mein leke ghoomte hain. Huh!! :D :D :P
grl u r one gem of a writer!
was shakespere your relative, do you have any one in your fasmily who is a big writter.... u must be havin it in your blood, varna how is it posible?
Damn good woman!!! In the end all i had in my mind was, "reali its over???" :(
anyways keep penning :)
@ Sawan - Thankyou!!! :)
@ Sonali - Awwwww!!! Thank you for the ultra sweet comment. Made me smile extra big, and THAT's saying something. :D
Welcome to C'est La Vie. Hope to see you around. :)
Cheers
Wooo.. I visited your blog after so many days.. and left me speechless..... !
Classic!
oo..its the end??
i came late?
ll read all the post..soon.sry for not being here :(
btw ...ur display pic is...damn cool..
to be more clear..sexy hai :D:D:P:P...
@ Sameera - Thanks sweets. How's MBA treatng you?
@ Amrita - Yes, it IS the end. :P
Ek tto late and upar se you have not even read it. Not happening ya! :P
and oye flattery aint gonna get you anywhere wimme...better be regular here.....he he....thanku so much. :)
Cheers
o my! U kept me hooked kudiye:) lovely writing style dis one proves u re a pro! Keep ridin;) n writing:)
@ Divsi - Thank you soo much. I aint no pro ya, just lucky perhaps. :)
Cheers
I am speechless isha .....
Donno what to say.....its simply wonderful.
u work with ekta kapoor kya??:O..
suspence ..re..:D
u know how to maintain..all this..sikha na mujko..:P
mast....read all :D
first time visitor..really well written prose there...will be visiting for more..keep them coming!!
I can see another shakespeare in making! Amazing!
@ Mahesh - Awww!! Thanks Mahesh!
Cheers
@ Amrita - He he...kya re...compare kia bhi tto kiske sath..lol
Chal theek hai...you teach me how to be humorous and I'll teach you how to create suspense. Deal?
@ Toon India - Thank you!!
Sure do!! Welcome to C'est La Vie!
Cheers
@ Numerounity - Arre you can be funny too. :P :d he he
Thanks a tone for that over generous comment. :)
Cheers
Gal..take a bow!!
u r one writer...i mean fantastic writer!!!
Cheers 2 u!!:)
@ Jaunty Anima - First things first. I love your display name. :)
And thankyiu sooo much!!
Keep visiting. :)
Cheers to you too *clink* :D
MBA is treating great!!
Loving every minute of it...! Ofcourse Accounts is a pain!
@ Sameera - Awww...non commerce background kya?
Top class! Go pro! :)
@ Arslan - Thanks!!
Amazing post.. I am a little late here.. but still its amazing :)
@ The West Wind - I think this is the maximum time anyone would have ever taken to reply to a comment. :D
Thanks for the appreciation. :)
Cheers
i could read this a million times and still want to rad it all over again. i thought i knew you, at least a little bit and now i know, i will never know u. there will always be more to you than you will be vulnerable of telling. :)
that was my strange way of saying a million words. a million words that escape my numb mind right now.
i bow to thee.
:)
but one thing i do ask of u. next time, whenever it is, tell me all about what was on ur mind when u wrote this. :)
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Bolo bolo....jee khol ke bolo :D